The Amazing Race begins!

The Amazing Race begins in Glouster, Massachusetts - on the East Coast for the first time! Lobster boats are taking all the teams to the starting line, and we get to meet them:

Brook & Claire tell us they are great communicators and can manipulate people to get their way. Chad & Stephanie just met eight months ago and already bought a house together. Chad says he is going to propose to Stephanie on the Race. Katie & Rachel want us to know they are smart, tough, athletic. But when the time comes, “We’re gonna be some bitches.” Connor & Jonathan, the a capella singers from Princeton, say they’ll sing to make other teams like them. They offer that tenors are tough guys and manly. (Okay.) Nat & Kat as doctors, they’re used to being stressed and sleep deprived so they figure they’ll have a leg up there. Michael & Kevin say they have conflicting cultures because Dad is an immigrant and Kevin is more Americanized. Nick & Vicki are full of tattoos but say those are deceiving because they’re very athletic. Ron & Tony met while doing “The Wiz” and are best friends, and it’s Tony’s dream to run the Race. Jill & Thomas tell us Thomas is outspoken and competitive - he’s gonna be a bulldozer and there might be some good arguments with these two. Mallory & Gary tell us that hard work and being a good person can get you anywhere. Gary says “Don’t let the pot belly and gray hair fool you.” Jenna & Andie are meeting for the third time and want to feel fulfilled after the Race.

Phil welcomes the teams and tells them there is a new element in this Race. The first team to check in on the first Leg gets a prize - an Express Pass they can use any time during a challenge they don’t want to complete. The Pass will allow them to skip the task, get the clue and move on. Phil also tells them that even though two flights are waiting, first flight has room for only three teams and will land 30 minutes earlier.

So now we begin. Phil? “The world is waiting for you. Good luck...Travel safe...Go!”

They’ll be flying to London & going to Stonehenge to find the next clue. There are Mini Coopers (at least I think they are, the cars might be Smart cars. Anyway, they’re really small). The cars must have cameras in the dashboards, because there’s no room for camera guys in them for sure! There’s also no air conditioning, because all the teams are sweating bullets as they drive.

Ron & Tony tell us they can navigate well. (Hmmm, does this mean they’re gonna get lost big time?) Connor & Jonathan find out they’re on the wrong side of the city and Connor laughs “I hope we get out of America.” Ron & Tony get to the airport first. Rachel & Katie know they’re in fourth behind the best friends, Chad & Stephanie and Jill & Thomas but decide to try to go to American to get on the first flight anyway. Gary & Mallory and Brooke & Claire jump on a shuttle bus and tell the driver to take off before Nat & Kat get on the bus, which he does.

Ron & Tony get the first flight. Chad & Stephanie go through a long line instead of to the flagged counter so Jill & Thomas get ahead and get on the first flight. Chad & Stephanie are told to go to another counter and Katie & Rachel are racing to the counter, but Chad & Stephanie beat them to it. Rachel says “son of a bitch” a lot.

Ron & Tony meet up with other teams on first flight. Ron says they may have been underestimated because “we’ve got a big fat guy on the team.” Tony tells him “It’s called healthy.” All the teams on the second flight are hugging and greeting each other.

Once they get to London, everyone forgets they have to get in the “passenger side” to drive. Stephanie laughs about driving a stick on the left side. Ron & Tony stop to get a map. Chad & Stephanie end up back by the airport and Chad snips a little, and these two are gonna argue a bit too. Nick & Vicki seems lost. Andie is driving and not doing well with the clutch - she’s burning the clutch and their car smells - Connor & Jonathan are behind them and can smell it. Connor & Jonathan try to help but end up leaving them stuck in traffic. Andie was riding the clutch and ended up trying to shift into reverse instead of forward gear. Nat & Kat get to Stonehenge first.

The clue tells them to “Find the castle that is the opposite of Nor’easter,” which is Eastnor Castle. They stop and ask a local and are told it might be near Tewksbury. Chad & Stephanie use the internet and Rachel & Katie ask a local - Brook & Claire just jump in the car and go. Rachel & Katie see Nat & Kat on the road and ask if they want to find it together. Rachel is trying to drive the stick and stalls it. Ron & Tony are lost. Gary & Mallory and Connor & Jonathan get their clues together at Stonehenge and Mallory tells Jonathan “c’mon Princeton!” as they try and figure it out. They ask a local who tells them Castle Ledberry at Hedfordshire (what that has to do with Nor’easter, I haven’t a clue!) As Nick & Vicki drive up, Vicki says it’s the first she’d ever heard of Stonehenge, “and I find out it’s a bunch of rocks.”

Jill & Thomas get to the Eastnor Castle first with Nat & Kat and Brook & Claire right behind. The clue tells them to “storm the castle,” meaning they have to climb a ladder being guarded by a mob of peasants and retrieve a flag. They then have to travel across the moat in an ancient boat and give their flag to a knight in shining armor to get their next clue. (I wonder if any of the peasants are going to tell them “Your mother is a hamster, and your father smells of elderberries!” - It’s from Monty Python’s “Search for the Holy Grail” movie. If you haven’t seen it, rent it. It’s funny.) The peasants are tossing muddy water on them as they climb up the ladders. Rachel & Katie manage to get the flag first and run off.

Mallory & Gary get a flat as they stop at a gas station and Connor & Jonathan, who are following, decide to take off instead of waiting for the tire to get changed.

Brook & Claire end up sinking, as do the other teams, so they all have to go back and try again. The boats look like turtle shells and are quite wobbly. Jill is in the boat with her back to the shore and doing all the pulling to get across, and Thomas just tells her how great she’s doing. Nat & Kat are pulling the rope together with Brook & Claire bringing up the rear.

Rachel & Katie are calling Stephanie “Tinkerbell” for some reason. They’re happy to see Chad & Stephanie, knowing they’re not far behind. Ron & Tony finally get to Stonehenge and ask how many teams are ahead, and the local tells them “lots and lots.”

It’s hysterical watching Chad & Stephanie trying to get into the boat without it tipping, although Chad is getting aggravated. He’s standing and she’s sitting, and they sink - twice.

Jenna & Andie think they’re looking for Norwest Castle. Ron & Tony are having major problems navigating because of the number of roundabouts and lack of marked roads on the maps. Vicki tells us she needs “kindergarten directions.” (I think Vicki is our dumb blonde this Race - and she’s a brunette!)

Jill & Thomas get their flag to the knight first and get the next clue. The knight tells them “Welcome to the tournament” and the clue asks “who’s ready to go into battle with a knight in shining armor?” I’m wondering if they will have to joust, but no, Phil says it’s a Roadblock where they have to team up with a knight and use a medieval weapon, a balista, to shoot watermelons at a knight figure 50 feet away. It looks like a giant slingshot. Once they knock over the knight, they have to find the jester and get their next clue. Thomas decides to do it, and jumps on the horse with the knight. Claire thinks she’s got it in the bag because she grew up with horses. As Nat rides off with her knight, she says “My knight in shining armor, finally!” As they start flinging watermelons, they realize it’s not as easy as they may have thought and Claire now knows it really has nothing to do with horses.

Rachel & Katie get to the boats at the moat as Chad & Stephanie are still crossing, and Stephanie is yapping the whole time, telling Chad to go slow. Connor & Jonathan start climbing the wall at the castle and Connor tells us they’re missing their graduation to do the Race because it’s their last chance “to be kids, in a way.” As Chad & Stephanie sink yet again, we see that it’s their 12th attempt. Rachel & Katie laugh that they” just passed Tinkerbell and Pan.”

Thomas finally blasts his knight with the watermelon and gets the clue from the Jester. It tells them to find the Pit Stop, which is on the grounds of the Castle in the Eastnor Castle Meadow. Oh wow, it looks like they get to sleep in tents?! They see Phil at the Mat, and are told they are team number one. The Express Pass can be used up until the eighth leg of the Race (nice that they can’t use it close to the end, let’s keep stuff fair!) Even winning the leg of the Race, I noticed Jill doesn’t really have a happy face - she looks really dour all the time.

Rachel & Katie start navigating their boat as Nat absolutely blasts her knight and gets their next clue. Nat & Kat get to the Mat in second place. Claire manages to hit the flag next to the knight, and in her next attempt as Brook tells her to hit the knight right in the kisser, the watermelon springs back and smacks her right in the face. Claire has a headache and says she can’t see right, but Brook tells her she has to keep going - “They don’t call this The Amazing Race for nothing.” Rachel & Katie feel that Claire is brave to keep going. After two more shots she finally gets the knight, and the Jester is even impressed as Brook yells “she just got hit in the face with a watermelon!” Connor gets his knight and Rachel hits hers right after. As they run through the field, Claire keeps saying “I can’t feel my face.” Connor & Jonathan get third (after slipping and falling on his ass onto the Mat) and Brook & Claire get fourth.

We get to Kevin & Michael and their many attempts to manage the boat, and at least they’re laughing as they sink. Andie & Jenna are still on the road as are Nick & Vicki and Ron & Tony, looking for the Castle. Mallory & Gary are cracking up as they get pelted with water going up the wall. They see Kevin & Michael and Gary says “they look like a couple carnies in a dunking booth.” Mallory & Gary seem to get the boat on the first try and give Kevin & Michael an idea how to do it. Andie & Jenna finally make to the Castle as Nick & Vicki stop for directions and Ron & Tony are really getting discouraged.

Chad & Stephanie are wandering around the grounds and can’t find the Mat. Michael & Kevin finally get across, slow and steady, with Michael saying that was the best moment of the Race for he and his son. (Considering it’s only been a day.....) Nick & Vicki actually make it to the Castle and as they read the clue to “retrieve a medieval flag from the battlements” they’re dumbfounded, asking people “are you the battlement?” I really hope they stick around for comic relief! They wander around in a stupor, walking right past a flag.

As Gary rides off to defeat the knight Mallory stands watching the Jester juggle as he stands on a ball, and seems to be in awe. She seems kinda ditzy too, but nowhere near as Vicki! Can’t wait to see them in the boats - as they wander right by the boats, saying that there are no more boats left and they’ll have to go across and get one. They finally realize where the boats are and I’m bummed, they figure it out on the second try. Kevin hits his knight just after Gary does, and as Chad & Stephanie still wander around the grounds looking for the Mat, Mallory & Gary get to Phil in sixth and Michael & Kevin are right behind. Somehow, Chad & Stephanie manage to find the Mat and admit in their interview that the arguing defeats their purpose.

Jenna finally hits her knight and they get to the Mat in ninth place. Ron & Tony’s boat sinks time after time as Nick keeps slinging watermelons, and they get their clue. They get to the Mat and Phil asks them “What’s the name of this country?” Vicki answers “We’re in London, right?” Phil shakes his head and says “That’s right, we’re in the country of London.” They do correctly guess that they’re in 10th place.

Ron & Tony seem to give up but get to the Mat, and Phil hates to tell them they’ve been eliminated. They’re very sweet, saying that their friendship is worth everything. Awwww, you’re still going home, fellas.

So here’s how they all ended up:

1 - Jill & Thomas
2 - Nat & Kat
3 - Connor & Jonathan
4 - Brook & Claire
5 - Rachel & Katie
6 - Mallory & Gary
7 - Michael & Kevin
8 - Chad & Stephanie
9 - Andie & Jenna
10 - Nick & Vicki
11 - Ron & Tony (eliminated)

Well, I get my wish, and Nick & Vicki, the rocket scientists, will still be around to give us a good laugh for at least another leg of the Race. Any teams jump out at you as frontrunners? Will Nick & Vicki manage to find their way out of the country of London? We'll find out next week!