Sweating Through Malaysia with Snakes and Coconuts

The teams begin in Seychelles, where half of its island land is protected as a national park. Steve & Allie got a great reward for their first-place finish of dinner on the pirate's beach during the Pit Stop - but I wonder where Allie got that pink sarong-towel thingy she was wearing? Remember, last leg their backpacks were left with the turtles. Maybe it was a bedsheet!

The clue tells them to fly to Penang, Malaysia and go to the Snake Temple, which is a house of worship where snakes live. (Ooh, I want to see Carol & Brandy and Caite roam around there with the snakes! They have to take the 2:00 a.m. ferry to another island to the airport. Steve tries to buy a hotel employee’s shirt off his back, but only gets some plastic bags to carry their extra stuff. They do some checking and find out Malaysia is a warm country, so they’re not worried about freezing. Dan & Jordan are psyched to be as far in the Race as they are. Michael & Louie like working with Brent & Caite, saying they’re respectful and “someone you’d be proud to call your own kids.” (As long as you don’t want kids with brain cells!) They all discuss going to the Snake Temple and Caite says she likes snakes. Caite calls the Detectives “the Daddies.” The two teams talk about wanting to get rid of Carol & Brandy - Brent & Caite because “they’re mean” and Michael & Louie because they see the lesbians as threats. They plan to U-Turn the girls at the next opportunity. The Cowboys realize they have a second chance and say they aren’t out of it unless they quit, and that won’t happen.

At the ferry, Michael & Louie give Steve some underwear and a little clothing. All the teams are on the same ferry and same flight, and the Cowboys say that once again, they’re tied for first place. Brent & Caite get out of the airport and on their way first, and their driver tells them the Snake Temple is five minutes away. Dan & Jordan get a cabbie that passes every single other team and gets them to the Snake Temple first.

The clue is a Detour: Buddhist Tradition or Chinese Custom. For Buddhist Tradition, the teams must go to a Temple, choose 12 very large incense sticks (which actually look like bottle rockets for the Jolly Green Giant) and lug them up 150 steps. At the top they must place the incense into holders, light them, and then a ceremonial fire to get their next clue. For Chinese Custom, teams go to a field and choose huge 32-foot flag poles, balance them on their foreheads, and walk 120 feet across the park for their next clue. (Doesn’t look like they get padding under the poles, either - wonder how long it will take for the dent in their foreheads to wear off after they do this one?)

Dan & Jordan were bummed that they let “the best cab driver in the world” go, and scrambled around looking for another cab. All the teams except Jet & Cord decide to do the Buddhist Tradition. The Cowboys’ taxi took off and they join Brent & Caite running the street looking for a cab. Brent & Caite manage to find one leaving the Cowboys to complain that they told their cab to stay and he didn’t. They manage to find a guy willing to call a taxi for them, telling them to wait for “maybe” five minutes. Looks like Michael & Louie end up with Dan & Jordan’s original cab driver and end up passing Carol & Brandy and the Brothers. Carol & Brandy end up being the first team there, and take two 8-foot sticks with Brent & Caite close behind.

Allie & Steve, Dan & Jordan and Michael & Louie get stuck in a traffic jam. Steve & Allie find out that it’s about five minutes away if they run, so they tell their driver to meet them there and take off on foot. (Steve also slings a small backpack over his shoulder, so obviously they spent some of their money on that....hope it doesn’t come back to haunt them!) Dan & Jordan follow suit, but Michael & Louie stay in their cab and decide to sprint once they get there.

As Jet & Cord get to the field with the flags, they marvel at the size of them and think that maybe they chose the wrong task. Cord flies across the field, figuring out that once you get the flag leaning the right way, and catch the wind, it’s all “gravy” from there. Jet doesn’t get it on his first try, but gets it figures out pretty quickly and the Cowboys get their clue.

They must now taxi to Teluk Bahang and find a temple with their next clue. They’re feeling pretty good about getting that task done so quickly, saying that even with the Speed Bump they “might be able to finish some place besides last.”

Back at the fireworks Temple, the teams are lugging their fireworks up the multitude of stairs. Brent remarks “I wish God would turn on the air conditioning.” In Teluk Bahang, Jet & Cord find their Speed Bump. They must go to a spice garden and find a lady sitting and crushing spices and making spiced tea. They must then determine which pot of tea was made with the lady’s spices and deliver it to a meditating guru. If they’ve made the correct choice, they will get their clue. They’re bummed that they have to drive to the spice garden about a half-hour away and hope everyone else is having trouble. I don’t know about trouble, but they are working pretty darn hard, dragging their incense up the steps in the hot sun. Louie & Michael, who made the wise choice to stay in their cab, are working hard and Louie ends up hacking away as he gets to the top, and Michael calls him “cardioman.” (Maybe “myocardial infarctionman!”)

The Cowboys sniff the spices and take a chance on a pot of tea, which isn’t the correct one. We are then treated to the sight of Steve & Allie and Dan & Jordan running up an inclining road to the Temple, with Steve saying “this was stupid.” Steve & Allie run into their cab driver about a block away from the Temple and get a ride the rest of the way. Unfortunately, they find out once they get there that it isn’t the right Temple, and Dan & Jordan try and take their cab but the cabbie tells them he’s waiting for Steve & Allie. As they take off, Dan & Jordan are bummed about having to walk further to find the correct location. The second pot of tea was the correct one and Jet & Cord realize they’re on even ground with everyone else now that the Speed Bump isn’t looming over them any more.

Steve asks their cabbie if he knows where he’s going, and he says “I don’t know.” Steve says “huh?” and the cabbie then tells him “no problem.” (Uh-oh, I see problems with this one!) They stop and ask for directions and find out they’re closer to the flag field and decide to change tasks.
Jet & Cord run back to the clue box and don’t see any other teams there, or cabs, for that matter. The clue is a Roadblock, and they must take place in two Hindu rituals to assure them good luck. They must first smash coconuts until they find one with a bright color inside. They must then use local materials and a chunk of their coconut and make a floating offering and present it to a guy in the water. He will set it afloat and give them their clue. Cord told Jet it was his Roadblock to do, and afterward we find out that Cord decided it was far too hot to attempt this task himself, so he sent his brother off without any discussion. Back at the Temple, Brent & Caite finish first and get their clue, followed by Carol & Brandy. I don’t think Louie is going to make it to the next location, he’s hacking so bad. Dan & Jordan show up as the Detectives are leaving, and Steve & Allie find the field. After a couple of what looked like lame attempts at balancing the flags, they decide to go back to their original idea - except now their cab is gone and they have to find another.

Jet managed to find a pink coconut and ran off to make his offering, laughing that it was “my first time for arts and crafts.” How he manages to concentrate at all with the singing going on there is beyond me - the women singing (with their hands clasped in prayer) sound very, very bad. I guess God just appreciates the effort (but I didn’t). He manages to get it to the guy in the water and gets his clue, saying “let it say Pit Stop, c’mon, baby” and gets his wish. They must go to a historic part of the island and find the Pinang Peranakan Mansion, a 100-year-old house built by one of the richest guys on the island of Malaysia. Jet & Cord are ecstatic, and Carol & Brandy see the Cowboys leaving as they are arriving at the coconut-smashing Temple, wondering how they managed to get that far ahead. Carol is doing the challenge smashing coconuts and looks as if she’s going to blow right past the colored one, until Brandy tells her she’s got it. As the camera follows her to the arts and crafts table, it’s splashed up with coconut juice and I can only imagine what the poor camera guy looks like - and smells like! Nice, sticky coconut juice in his hair, in 90-degree sunshine, lugging around a 60-pound camera.

Louie is doing the task and finds the colored one after smashing his second coconut, which cheezes Carol & Brandy off. As Caite starts smashing coconuts, Jet & Cord get to the Mansion and find Phil at the Mat. Phil tells them they are the first team to come in last, complete the Speed Bump and manage to place first. Carol gets her offering built and gets her clue, and Louie is behind her. Michael & Louie shout encouragement to Caite as they leave, calling her a “coconut smashing fool.” Carol & Brandy get to the Mat and Phil remains stoic, not giving anything away. Carol says “I’m waiting for the eyebrow to go up” and Phil obliges her. Obviously Phil isn’t in the mood to talk, so Carol & Brandy do it for him: “Carol & Brandy, you are team number.....” and Phil puts up two fingers.

Dan & Jordan finish their incense and take off. Steve & Allie get done and leave also, but then we see Dan & Jordan’s cab stopping for gas, and Dan again complaining that they let the best cab driver on the island get away. Steve & Allie seem to be having problems with their driver, and Steve is complaining that he wants a “rabbit, not a turtle.” Allie apologizes for him, saying they’re stressed. Michael & Louie get to the mansion and Louie gripes about “more steps” but not about being the third team to check in. Jordan, reading “who’s ready for some color?” laughs that he is going to do the task and gets a colored coconut pretty quickly, but then messes up building his offering and has to go back to fix it. They manage to leave before Steve & Allie show up, and Allie gets through the challenge (although I noticed that the guy in the water was up to his chest, making Allie go further out in the water than the other teams had to. She wasn’t wearing a white top to give the guys a wet t-shirt shot, so I have no idea why he did that). We see Dan & Jordan get stuck in a traffic jam, and Steve & Allie hoping their cabbie can drive fast enough to win the leg for them. But in the end, they were too far back and end up in sixth place and get eliminated. Steve compliments her, getting emotional and telling Allie that she’s pretty tough.

Here’s how they finished:

1 - Jet & Cord
2 - Carol & Brandy
3 - Michael & Louie
4 - Brent & Caite
5 - Dan & Jordan
6 - Steve & Allie - eliminated

The end is getting close! Only five teams are still around - who do you think will win? Can Brent & Caite think themselves out of a paper bag and surge ahead? Are Carol & Brandy together and poised to make a run at the million? We’ll find out next week!