Models, Cowboys and Brothers Will Race for the Million!

The Amazing Race is nearing its end! Four teams left before next week’s finale!

As the teams leave, we hear that Jet was hit on the side of the head by a hoof and ended up with a crushed skull - they weren’t sure he was going to make it. Cord stayed at his hospital bed the entire time. Cord says Jet is the strongest guy he knows, and that gives them a good shot at winning the Race. They take off and the clue tells them to find the Garden Bridge, which locals know only by its Chinese name (and they didn’t put it up on the screen and I have no clue what Phil said!) They ask some locals, and finally find one who directs them to the Park Bridge.

Brent & Caite leave next, and Caite says she still gets negative comments from her stupid answer in the Teen USA pageant. If she finishes in the final three it will “show the world that I can accomplish anything I put my mind to.” Except that her mind isn’t all there, so....

Jet & Cord get to the destination they were told to go to and see nothing with the Race colors, so they decide to find out from someone else. Brent & Caite get lucky and find a local to search it on her phone, and she finds out it is called Waibaidu Qiao. She writes a note and tells them to go by taxi. Jet & Cord ask a taxi driver who tells them he can get them there, then once moving tells them he doesn’t know where the address is.

Dan & Jordan are leaving and Dan says he did the Race just for Jordan’s dream (like we haven’t heard that 100 times already) but now he wants to win it for himself too. They also can’t find anyone who knows where the Garden Bridge is.

Brent & Caite reach the clue box, and their clue says they must go to the Longhua Temple for their next clue - but they cannot travel by taxi. Jet & Cord get there shortly behind. Brent & Caite get a map of the bus routes and she decides they have to take Route 3, and the bus driver confirms it. Caite says that “obviously I know how to read maps....and in China. So you people can go screw yourselves.” (I’m impressed). Jet & Cord ask their cab driver the best way to get to the Temple and he tells them by train, and the station is a kilometer away. Dan & Jordan meet a local and ask him about the Garden Bridge, and he’s Mr. Clueless. Dan has decided he hates China and will never be back because of the language barrier. Two hours after their start, they still have no idea where they’re going so they decide to go back and team up with Michael & Louie. Their strategy is never to be alone and in last place - and with Michael & Louie having a Speed Bump, this would allow Dan & Jordan to go ahead. Michael & Louie think they’ve “caught up” to Dan & Jordan after walking a bit from the Pit Stop, although they have to feel better about being close to another team. They go up to a higher point, and Michael uses his little telescope to see if he can find the Garden Bridge. Because he’s a detective, he can see things better than most people (don’t think it’s going to help you here, buddy!)

Brent & Caite get to the Temple and the clue box. It’s a Roadblock. Phil explains that the word “Arhat” means “one who has attained enlightenment.” The teams must count all the golden statues in the Arhat Hall (523). If they’re correct, they get a clue - if not, they must wait ten minutes before guessing again. Caite will attempt the task and tells Brent to leave her alone while she counts. Brent says this is a good task to show everyone that Caite is more intelligent than everyone thinks. (I’m thinking she’s gonna do something incredibly stupid this leg of the Race...otherwise what’s all this talk about Caite not being as stupid as we know she is?) Her first guess of 520 is wrong.

Michael & Louie and Dan & Jordan spot some jackets hanging on a street sign and decide maybe the clues are in the pockets. After poking through them they find they’re wrong - and I think they’re lucky they didn’t get arrested for going through someone’s pockets (although they were hanging on a public street sign). Jet & Cord are still walking and haven’t found the train station. Ciate guesses again, this time 522. So much for showing people how smart you are!

Michael asks to borrow a cell phone and calls the translation number. The phone number is in every cab and when one has problems telling the cab driver where to go because of the language barrier, they will find out in English and tell the taxi driver in Chinese. He gives the phone to a cab driver and Dan & Jordan tell their cab to follow Michael & Louie’s cab. Dan & Jordan are having fits because their driver isn’t following the other cab close enough, and the front cab gets through a light and they’re stuck behind. Louie comments how it’s nice to have the boys with them, and Michael looks back and says “they’re not with us any more.” Dan & Jordan are practically trying to crawl in the front seat of the cab, telling the driver to follow the green cab, and not getting anywhere.

Caite says the statutes started blending together into one big gold statue after awhile. She guesses 524 this time. Jet & Cord get to the Temple and pass right by Brent as they look for the clue box. They finally find it and Cord is the one who will attempt the count.

Dan & Jordan manage to catch up to Michael & Louie’s cab at the bridge and get the clue. Back at the Temple, Cord notices that there are two statutes standing up, not of Buddha, but re-reading the clue he sees he must count “all the gold statues.” He figures he should count those too, and it turns out that he’s correct and gets his clue. Caite comes out just behind him and manages to have the right answer as well, finally. The clue tells them they must choose a motorcycle and ride it to the Yuyuan Gardens and find their next clue. One team member rides on the back of the bike and the other in the sidecar. Jet laughs that riding in a motorcycle through China was something for a country boy like him, from a town with one stop light.

The Brothers and the Detectives go to a hotel and ask how to get to the Temple and are told how to get to the bus stop. Michael says if they were going by taxi they would ditch the Brothers and go on their way. Brent & Caite and Jet & Cord are having problems finding the Gardens, and Caite is being accosted by vendors asking if they want to buy things, and being snotty about it. Jet & Cord find the clue box and it's a Detour: Pork Chops or Pork Dumplings. For Pork Chops, they must go to a store which sells elaborate carved stamps, which are called “chops.” They must find a stamp with a pig and one with their name and turn them in for their next clue. In Pork Dumpling, teams go to a restaurant and pick up ten orders of dumplings and make their way through the market to deliver them to get their clue. Jet & Cord decide on Pork Chops and find the store rather easily and start looking through the stamps as Brent & Caite find the clue and pick the same task. Brent can’t even concentrate because he has to go to the bathroom really bad. Caite tells him to “just go” and Brent says Caite can’t look while he’s in the bathroom, so Caite tells him to just hold it. He tries to convince her to go with him to the rest room and she says “I’m not going anywhere.” (Nice girlfriend. Although that’s what got the female basketball players eliminated a couple seasons ago, when one of them had to stop to pee.)

The other two teams get to the Temple and Michael & Louie get their Speed Bump. They will have to perform a local good luck ritual by tossing a coin into an incense burner. They’ll be able to continue from there “hopefully with enough good luck to make up the time.” The incense burner is right by the Temple so they don't have to go far. Louie gets his coin in pretty quickly. Dan is the one who attempts the counting and Michael & Louie make short work of the coin toss and join the Brothers at the Temple to count statues. Louie is a “mathematical genius” and he’ll kick butt, according to Michael - and Jordan asks “so you’re calling my brother stupid?” Back at the stamp store, Brent is still complaining about needing to go to the bathroom, and not looking for stamps at all, telling Caite if they went to the bathroom he would be able to help. They started arguing and finally went down the hall to the bathroom.

Dan decided the best way to do things is to take your time and it would be done right, and gets it right on the first attempt. Michael is bummed as he watches them leave. They take off on the motorcycle and Jordan says “you have these glasses, a helmet, and gloves, I had to hang onto this Chinese guy .... okay I liked that part.” Louie comes out with a guess of 521 and has to wait ten minutes. Michael says it’s “tortuous.” Louie reads the clue again and realizes he forgot to count ALL the statues.

Cord finds his name on a stamp and shoves it in his pocket, not wanting Brent & Caite to know he found one thinking they’d be more motivated. Caite found Cord’s stamp and of course, doesn’t say anything. Brent finds his and says it’s huge, “just like everything else.” Louie comes out with the correct number of statues and off they go on the motorcycles. Brent finds the pig and they get their clue, telling them to find the next Pit Stop, the Riverside Promenade, a park overlooking Shanghai’s waterfront. Jet & Cord find their next stamp and manage to get a cab before Brent & Caite, and Cord tells the driver “rapido” and then shakes his head, saying he doesn’t know any Chinese. They see Brent & Caite trying to find a cab as they take off and hope it will get them ahead.

It looks like a race to the finish as Jet & Cord and Brent & Caite look around the Promenade for Phil and the Mat, and Brent & Caite get there first, where Phil stands with the world’s tallest man. He’s a herdsman from Outer Mongolia and is 7 feet 9 inches tall. Caite decides that she’s proved she’s intelligent. (Good for you, honey!) Jet & Cord are told they’re second, and plan to get a new belt buckle if they win saying “Amazing Race Champs.” (*rolling eyes*)

Dan & Jordan decide to try the Pork Chops and Dan finds Louie’s stamp. Michael & Louie get to the clue box and decide to try Pork Chops also. Dan & Jordan had about 20 minutes on Michael & Louie and Michael is feeling pretty good. Jordan is fussing that “this is impossible” and Dan tells him to stop complaining and keep looking. He doesn’t want to hear excuses. Dan finds his stamp and we see Michael using a flashlight looking at the underside of the glass shelves. Jordan finally finds his stamp and they get their clue and take off. They ask locals for help to find the Pit Stop location and get some girls to come with them to show the way. Michael finds Louie’s stamp and Louie finally finds Michael’s as Dan & Jordan take off in a cab. The Detectives can only hope that the Brothers get a bad cab, and it seems like they do - they say that their cabbie may not know where he’s going. “He seems to lack any real motivation to help us.” It looks as if both the cabs show up very close together, and we see both teams looking for Phil all over the Promenade. It’s Dan & Jordan who make it to the Mat in third and are told that they’re in the finals. Jordan says Dan is an unbelievable brother and they’re going to win the million dollars. Phil has to tell Michael & Louie that they’re out of the Race. Michael says there’s no one he’d rather do the Race with, and Louie says there were a couple of instances when they had to share a full-sized bed.

So it’s models Brent & Caite, cowboys Jet & Cord, and brothers Dan & Jordan in the finals for the million bucks. Who’s got the best shot? Are the models smart enough? Are the cowboys tough enough? Are the brothers determined enough? We’ll find out next week!

Noodles in the Cold and Puzzles on a Windy Day

Four teams left in the Race! They all leave from Singapore for the 10th leg. Dan & Jordan leave first, flying to Shanghai, China. They will have to taxi to the town of Zhujiajiao, which is the “Venice of China.” They will take gondola boats to their next clue box. Brent & Caite leave next, and Caite is happy she’s the last girl standing. Jet has a wife and a 17-month-old child, and Cord got engaged before he left, so they’re a little homesick. All the teams meet up at the airport and get to hear Caite tell the gripping story of how she U-Turned Carol & Brandy. (It was mesmerizing, I tell you!) Dan & Jordan interviewed that it was a stupid decision and based on personal reasons, and that Jet & Cord are much stronger competitors and they should have been the ones to be U-Turned. The first flight leaves at 12:55 a.m. and they’re all on the same flight.

Everyone grabs a taxi out of the airport - Michael & Louie get one that understands no English, and they’re following Dan & Jordan, whose cab stops to confer with Michael & Louie’s driver. Jet & Cord get to Zhujiajiao and Jet leaves his backpack in the cab (Cord takes his along, seems like the smarter move. I wouldn’t leave my worldly belongings unless I was positive I was coming back!) Brent & Caite get to the gondolas first and float down the channel. Brent, rocket scientist that he is, says he feels like he’s in “Sicily.” (Really, just get yourself a lobotomy and get it over with already!) Jet interviews that it was a “tranquil” ride and Cord has to have him explain the meaning of the word. (Brent & Caite are rubbing off on him!) In the meantime, Michael & Louie and Dan & Jordan are stuck with cabbies who cannot speak English and are lost. Michael says that he spoke to someone on the plane who said that 1/3 of the people speak English “But we met the other 2/3 right away in China.”

Brent & Caite get to the clue box first and the clue is a Roadblock. Phil tells us that noodles have been an important staple of China for 2000 years. They will have to go to a noodle house and learn how to make noodles by hand. Once they’ve made 1 kilo of noodles, the smallest man in the world, He Pingping, will give them their next clue. Caite thinks he’s “adorable” and Brent says he’s as large as Brent’s foot to knee. Caite and Jet start making noodles, and we see Dan & Jordan and Michael & Louie bemoaning their fates with the lousy cab drivers. They end up in some deserted place and find someone who speaks English and tells the drivers where to go. Jet realizes that sprinkling flour keeps the noodles from clumping and seems to be making good headway. The little guy has a cigarette in his mouth and it looks the size of a cannon. Caite is having mega problems with her noodles, and Brent says he’ll never ask to her make some homemade spaghetti. (*eyes rolling*) Jordan volunteers and Louie says he used to help his grandmother make pasta. (Kiss of death, I bet!) Jet is doing great and gets his pasta done, with “gentle hands” according to Jordan. Caite’s noodles keep clumping and she keeps getting “no, no” from the local in charge. In the cab, the Cowboys talk about the little guy’s cigarette, and say “apparently smoking will stunt your growth.” Louie gets 15 grams of good noodles and says “my Grandma is probably turning over in her grave right now.” The Cowboys luckily can go back to their cab so Jet is safe this time. Their clue tells them to go into the fashion house and work together. They will choose a model who has a sketch of a design. They will have to find all the pieces of the outfit from the many racks, and if the model is dressed correctly, they will get their next clue. They start looking through the racks...

And Caite finishes her noodles. Jordan is complaining that his hands are freezing and he’s not going quickly at all. Louie gets a big clump and Jordan asks “how did you do that?” Louie yells “it’s because I’m Italian!”

We see Cord seeing a model with a shirt that looks like his sketch and asks the model if he can have her shirt. (Had she understood English, he may have gotten clobbered). As their model gets dressed, they banter about how fashion conscious they are. Louie finishes his noodles and they yell “good luck” to Jordan as they take off. Jordan gets another clump of noodles done but he’s far from finishing and is getting upset. Dan goes over and gives his brother a hug and a pep talk, telling him “I know how hard this is, but you’re doing great.” You know Jordan’s hands are freezing, because we can see everyone’s breath. Jet & Cord find out their model is dressed incorrectly and go to pick another shirt, which is the right one so they get their next clue, which tells them to go to Hongkou Stadium for their next clue. Brent & Caite then get to the fashion house and Caite thinks it’s funny that they’re usually the ones getting dressed, not picking the fashions. Michael & Louie get their clue (which is right in front of the fashion house) and go wandering off looking for the building. Jordan finally gets done with his noodles and off the Brothers go to find the next clue box. Caite, after hating Carol & Brandy the whole Race for talking about a tiara, asks the model if she needs her tiara to help her change clothes.

Jet & Cord get to the Stadium and find another Roadblock. This is a first, having two Roadblocks on one Race - and the person who didn’t do the first Roadblock has to do this one. And Phil tells us “It won’t be easy.” They will have to take 96 cards and build a puzzle with them, working off of a little picture. They will then give the cards to people in the stands, and once the cards are flipped over, it will give a seat number where their next clue is hidden. Cord started laying the pieces out and says they all look alike. Jet says that Cord isn’t talented in everything, but he makes up for it in “try” and he’s glad Cord is his teammate. Brent & Caite get their model dressed correctly and head to the Stadium. Michael & Louie finally wander back to the correct place and laugh “what kind of detectives are we?” As they get their clothes together, Dan & Jordan walk in and Michael says “being a gay male, this is right up Jordan’s alley.” Michael & Louie are wrong and Michael yells “can we have a shooting challenge please?” They find out they’re wrong again. Dan & Jordan are wrong, also, and they realize that each model is wearing the other’s stockings. Michael & Louie’s model gets dressed first and they take off with Dan & Jordan right behind them. Michael complains that he’d like a challenge where they could “kick a door in” or “chase a crackhead.” Brent is making good headway over Cord, and the wind kicks up and starts blowing their pieces away. Cord starts taking clothes off to hold down his pieces, throwing his jacket and hat and shirt on top of them, then laying on them till the wind quits. Brent is getting pretty ticked and starts yelling to Caite “I was halfway done.” Cord interviews that “having a fit and kicking and screaming isn’t going to help.” The teams are using their backpacks to hold down the pieces as they build the puzzle. Cord gets done and passes out his pieces and they’re correct, because the readable answer is Section 20, Row 16, Seat 33 and there’s the clue! The clue tells them to go to the Shanghai Science & Technology Museum, which is the Pit Stop on this leg of the Race. Dan is building the puzzle like his Dad used to, getting the corners and border first, then the middle. Brent finally gets done and finds his clue. Michael is looking through the individual pieces trying to find them one by one, and getting fixated on finding one piece.

Jet & Cord make it to the Mat first, and poor Phil looks freezing. Speaking of which, the Cowboy brothers win a trip to Alaska. They’ve won three trips so far, and they both say they’re not going with each other. Brent & Caite are second to the Mat. The crowds at the Stadium are cheering their puzzle makers on, and Dan finishes his puzzle and runs off to get his clue. Michael is bumming and “not seeing this.” He’s not giving up, though. Dan & Jordan get to the Mat in third, and Jordan thinks the girls with Phil are cute. Michael is taking so long that the lights are on at the stadium. Louie says he’s sad, but he’s proud of his partner and gives Michael a hug after he finishes. They get to the Mat last, and Phil tells them that “you are the last team to arrive, and you are out.” (This gave me the hint that this was a non-elimination leg, or else the show just became Project Runway.) Phil smiles and says “...in the cold!” and tells them while they have a Speed Bump next leg, they’re still in the Race. He tells Louie, “don’t make me eliminate you.”

The show ends with “In memory of He Pingping.” The little guy obviously died, and after looking him up on Wikipedia, I found this:

He Pingping was, according to the Guinness World Records, the world's shortest man who was able to walk. He was admitted to a hospital on March 3,2010 in Rome, Italy after complaining of chest pains. He died on March 13, 2010 of heart complications. The Guinness World Records editor-in-chief, Craig Glenday, said that he was "an inspiration to anyone considered different or unusual." He measured 74 cm (2 ft 5 in) tall, and was the third child of a family in Huade county, in the city of Ulanqab in northern China's Inner Mongolia Autonomous Region. He had two sisters, one who stands at 7 feet tall. According to his father, He Yun, at birth He Pingping was small enough to fit in the palm of his parents' hands. When it became apparent the child was growing very slowly, doctors diagnosed the cause as the bone deformity osteogenesis imperfecta, which hinders normal bone growth and body height. His name "Pingping" means wine bottle. He was a chain smoker.

So here are the standings, getting pretty darn close to the end:
1 - Jet & Cord
2 - Brent & Caite
3 - Dan & Jordan
4 - Michael & Louie

So there is one more show before the finale on May 9th. Who will our last three teams be? They all seem capable (as long as there are no tasks needing brains for Brent & Caite).