You Need Your Passport. Really! And About Those Transvestites.....

After a week’s hiatus for the Country Music Awards, the Amazing Race continues! Our teams this week seemed to have lost it a bit - two teams leave their backpacks at a boatyard, Jamie is still being obnoxious to non-English speaking people, and we learn of a new rule that I swear was never a rule before. Let’s get going....

Tammy & Victor, leaving first, are instructed to fly to Bangkok, Thailand. Once there, they have to taxi to a boatyard to find their next clue. Cara & Jamie, leaving second, decide they want an "official" taxi and ask another gentleman on the street if it was "official." When the gentleman goes to ask someone else, Jamie screams "Listen! Don’t talk to him!" She explains it by saying "the language barrier frustrates me and I just can’t do anything about it." Huh? She has no self-control? Or is she just an innate bitch?

All the teams end up on the same flight to Bangkok. They tell their taxi drivers to "go fast" and urge them to pass the cab ahead of them, but none of the cabbies know where they’re going. Margie & Luke are following Kisha & Jen’s taxi and when the drivers stopped to get directions, Margie instructed her driver to tell Kisha & Jen’s driver the wrong directions. While not nasty, Margie & Luke are definitely playing to win this Race. And just to look at them, you wouldn’t have figured them to get this far - a deaf guy and his mommy?

At the boatyard, the clue was a Roadblock. One team member was to attach a propeller to a boat to get their next clue. Cara & Jamie had caught up to Margie & Luke but Margie made very short work of the propeller-building and was done first. The clue told them to navigate the canals with a map to find their next clue. Luke told Margie to get their bags before they took off from the dock. I didn’t think much of that (seemed like a no-brainer to me) until the other teams caught up, told their cabs to wait, and concentrated on the propeller. Cara & Jamie ran back to the cab to get their backpacks, trying not to let the other teams know what their clue was. Mark & Michael get done and take off, leaving their belongings with their waiting taxi. I’m beginning to see trouble looming! Mark & Michael wrongly assume they’ll be bringing the boat back to the dock (why they figured this, I don’t know. Really. How many times do they begin in one place and go back to that place? Really!) Kisha & Jen take off without their bags OR their fanny pack (with their money and passports in it) and leave Kisha’s shoes on the dock as well. Now backpacks, with clothing, etc. I can see one could live without if one had to. But to leave your money and passports out in a foreign country and "hope" it will still be there when you get back....just plain dumb. Victor proves to be a lousy mechanic as his propeller doesn’t work the first time and he has to try again. By this time the other teams have all gone - and Tammy & Victor wisely go get their bags before they take off in their boat. As they putter down the canal in their boat, Jen frets about their fanny pack with their passports, but Kisha tells her they’ll be coming back and not to worry about it. Jen mentions that she’s "listening to big sister" but finds out being older doesn’t necessarily make one smarter. There is some conversation about going back for the bags with Mark & Michael, but they press forward also.

The next clue is a Detour - Broken Teeth or Broken Record. The official website is not up yet for me to copy it formally, so you’ll be stuck with the "unofficial" version: In Broken Teeth, the teams had to go to a hallway called "the aisle of smiles" to find people waiting in front of bowls of water with assorted dentures. The teams had to pick through the dentures and match 5 people with their correct teeth. For Broken Record, the teams would find a karaoke cab and ride along for five miles, singing with a group of lovely (?) women (?). A couple of those women had extra appendages, I’d bet, if ya know what I mean! Margie & Luke are the only team to opt for the denture fitting - Margie says "I’m a bad singer, he’s a really bad singer, so we’re going to spare the people of Bangkok." At least they get gloves, masks and safety glasses to wear while helping the people with their teeth. It was pretty icky, but pretty funny, and Luke was pathetic at trying to fit the dentures - he was sticking lower dentures in people who needed uppers. Margie, saying it wasn’t difficult to get into people’s "personal space" because she was a nurse, fit all five people and off they went to the Pit Stop.

Jen is still fretting about her passport "sitting on a dock somewhere" but they jump in the karaoke cab and sing along, having a great time. Jen cracked me up, though, talking about their ride: ''My first question was, are those transvestites? My next question was, why do they wear so much makeup? Third question was, why are we in a party taxi with three transvestites?'' In the meantime, Tammy & Victor catch up and decide "we’re Chinese, we have to do karaoke." Mark & Michael, after much arguing and debate, decide to go back to their cab at the boatyard for their backpacks before they attempt the Detour. Mark is berating Michael for wanting to go back for his backpack, saying a million dollars was much more worth it, while Michael kept mentioning "irreplaceable stuff" he didn’t want to leave behind. My thought here is the cost of the cab, sitting there with the meter running....and running....and the fare getting higher.

Kisha & Jen get done with their ride and have to find a cab driver to take them to the Pit Stop - but they have no money, so they have to hope they can sucker a taxi into taking them for free. Cara & Jamie are running around yelling at cabbies to find one who knows where the Pit Stop is - a palace (which to me would be something a cabbie should know about, no?) Tammy & Victor mention that they’re happy to see Cara & Jamie, considering the redheads were out of the boatyard way ahead, but they’ve caught up. Mark & Michael get back to their original cab, pay the man and get their stuff, noticing that there was another cab waiting. Feeling a little better that at least one other team would have to go back, they took off for the Detour to attempt the karaoke.

Tammy & Victor’s cab has to stop for directions to the Pit Stop, and Cara & Jamie’s cabbie (who was following Tammy & Victor) has to ask as well. Jamie continued screeching at her cab driver, telling him not to tell Tammy & Victor’s driver the directions. As Mark & Michael get back to the Detour, they were $185 short (Thai money, don’t know what it’s called) and bartered a flashlight and compass to make up for it. They figured they’d also have to negotiate the cab fare to the Pit Stop. They jump in the karaoke cab with their transvestites, although it seemed that they didn’t know the girls weren’t girls, saying that "we’re part of the entertainment business, so we know how to show these girls a good time." Oh, yeah. They’d show you a thing or two, guys! And not a thing you’d want to see!!!

Margie & Luke have already checked in first to the Pit Stop. Cara & Jamie get there second, and Kisha & Jen outrun Tammy & Victor to get to the Mat third. However, Phil tells them they cannot check in without their travel documents, because without their passports, they couldn’t leave Thailand and they’d have to go back for their documents before they could be checked in. (It would be helpful for Kisha to have her shoes as well). That gave Tammy & Victor third place.
I remember Dallas & Toni, the mom & son from last season, checking in at the Mat without their passports (after their belongings drove off in a cab in Russia). Phil didn’t tell them they couldn’t check in, but then, after some research I found out they were last anyway and therefore eliminated.

Mark & Michael get finished singing and hop in a cab to the Pit Stop, and have to bargain with that driver for their lack of cash. He accepts a carabiner (which I find out is part of rock-climbing equipment. I would think that the show supplies that sort of thing when necessary ... why would they carry one of those? Unless they spend their time at the Pit Stops keeping their stuntmen skills sharp by scaling the overnight locations). They make it to the Mat before Kisha & Jen but are told by a very scowling Phil that they’ve really done it this time! and incurred TWO 2-hour penalties. "You broke a Race rule and used a personal possession to pay cab fare. Twice." Shame, shame!

I have to break in here though - I could swear that on other Races I’ve seen contestants offer shoes, jackets, and the like to get their cabbie paid off. I remember! It was our loveable nerds, Andrew & Dan, who kept running out of money and offering anything they could to their cabbie so they could go on their way. I guess the producers added the rule for this season (or they don’t like Mark & Michael, who are either being persecuted unfairly so they lose, or really need to sit down and read the rule book!)

As Mark & Michael sit and stew for their 4-hour penalty, Kisha & Jen show up and know they’re last to check in. Phil lets them know they managed fourth place, and they were so relieved they broke down in tears. Mark & Michael are allowed to crawl up to the Mat where Phil tells them it is a non-elimination leg, but in addition to the required Speed Bump on the next leg of the Race, the leftover 3-plus hours of their penalty will be added to their start time. Michael tried to explain everything by saying they used personal belongings rather than stiff their cabbie because "we are in the land of Buddha and didn’t want to create any bad karma." Phil showed no sympathy - in fact, I think that’s the grouchiest he ever looked! I’m wondering what Phil has against these little guys! His blog isn’t up yet, but I will be looking for it!

The order of finish:
1 - Margie & Luke
2 - Cara & Jamie
3 - Victor & Tammy
4 - Kisha & Jen
5 - Mark & Michael (non-eliminated with mucho penalties)

So are the "new" rules a surprise to you too? Are you feeling sorry for the little guys or figuring they deserve it? Can Margie & Luke actually win this thing, being nice while screwing other teams as much as possible? Stay tuned, folks!