Gorilla!! Tiger!! And Down She Goes!

Mel & Mike was probably one of the most-liked teams this season - by viewers and other teams, too - but they went down in flames because they trusted their cab driver to know where a giant gorilla was. Unfortunately, they couldn’t make up the time and ended up eliminated.

Our teams find out they are flying to Phuket, Thailand and the only clue as to their destination is a photo of a giant gorilla statue. This should be interesting! They are going to have to find someone in Thailand who can tell them where the gorilla is. I can just see Cara & Jamie running around trying to speak English to people who don’t speak English and getting ticked because they don’t speak English in Thailand! In their interview at the beginning of the show they admit that they don’t have the most patience and the language barrier is a major part of that impatience. I think it comes off more as bitchiness, actually, and these two are really starting to bug me. They really give the "ugly American" idea some credence. Then you turn around and see Kisha & Jen feeling so bad for the starving kids as they leave India that they give some kids money.

All the teams get on the same flight and land together in Phuket. Mark & Michael get moving first while Mel & Mike can’t get a taxi and end up leaving the airport in last place. The taxi they finally do get ends up being their downfall, because the taxi driver told them the gorilla was at Patong Beach. All the other teams end up stopping in the same part of the city to ask locals if they know where the statue is, showing the photo and yelling, "Gorilla? Gorilla?" Finding out it was the Phuket Zoo, the teams took off in their cabs as Mel & Mike passed them in their cab. Mike noticed the other teams going in the opposite direction, and realizes that one way is wrong: "We’re either going to get behind or get ahead." (What else can they get? Oh, a Thai massage, like Mel suggested they do if they end up totally lost and out of the Race).

The teams at the Zoo start racing around looking for the giant gorilla. Cara & Jamie are the first team there and although they try and sneak the clue away from the location, Mark & Michael see them and find the gorilla as well. The clue told the teams they had to "first take a picture with Esso the tiger. Then, they had to take part in a typical Thai performance, in which they had to lie on the ground while elephants stepped and squatted over them." (Oh yeah, just wait for the squatting!) They would then have to go back to the Tiger and get their developed photo along with their next clue. Mark & Michael go dashing off, yelling "Tiger? Tiger?" to anyone who would listen for help finding the tiger. When they got there, they see that the tiger handler has only one arm and are understandably nervous, but I’m jealous of the photos with the tiger. It must have been neat (once they got over the paranoia!) Kisha & Jen laughed that "If the tiger didn’t eat Mark & Michael, he won’t eat us," saying that the stunt brothers are "bite-sized." The teams raced off to find the elephants. They ended up lying on a mat on the ground on their stomachs while an elephant put his foot on their butts, walked over them, and then squatted over the person on the ground, looking like a) they were about to drown in elephant pee; b) they would be buried by elephant poo; or c) they would wish they were in prison, because Bubba wouldn’t do half as much to them as the elephant would have!!! I’m sorry, but simply walking over them and patting them on the butt was all I wanted to see the elephant do. It really was kinda - weird.

Mel & Mike, meanwhile, are wandering around the beach looking for the giant gorilla. They show the photo to a local, who tells them to go to the Phuket Zoo, and Mel says, "no, that’s not right" and goes off to find someone else to help him. After he hears this a couple more times he decides that maybe they’re right after all, and they leave for the Zoo.

The clue from the Zoo told the teams to find an herb shop where there would be 99 drawers, six of which held their next clue. They were to "ask the shopkeeper to open one of the 99 herb drawers in search of a clue. If they chose incorrectly, teams would have to keep guessing until they found their next clue." On the way to the herb shop, Cara & Jamie let us know that their nickname for the stunt guys is "the Tweedles," as in Tweedledee and Tweedledum, because "they talk and talk, like animated cartoon guys." (My nickname for Cara & Jamie is "Obnoxious Redheads" because they’re snotty to everyone who doesn’t speak English. So there!) Cara & Jamie reach the herb shop first and have the guy open one drawer before Mark & Michael show up. The shopkeeper motions that they will take turns picking drawers. Cara & Jamie start getting frustrated with the shopkeeper "because I don’t really think he spoke a lick of English." (Imagine! What nerve!) Mark & Michael get their clue and dash off, frustrating Jamie even more. At this point, they’re being so snotty to the Thai non-English-speaking shopkeeper that I’m happy to watch Tammy & Victor, Kisha & Jen, and Margie & Luke get in and get their clue before the Redheads, who have taken to yelling at the shopkeeper (yes, girls, that will really help!)

By this time, Mel & Mike have found the gorilla and are working their way to trying to catch up, knowing they’re hopelessly behind. At the herb shop, as the shopkeeper opens each drawer and they see it has no clue, they laugh and say, "no-o-o-o!" and direct him to the next drawer. It was really fun to watch, and a total contrast to the Obnoxious Redheads. Hopefully it helped the shopkeeper’s view of Americans!

The next clue was a Detour: 100 Barrels or 2 Miles. "In 100 Barrels, teams had to travel to a nearby harbor and work to prepare a fishing shop for ten days at sea. They needed to fill 47 barrels with enough drinking water to last the trip, and they had to move 53 of the empty fish barrels from the bottom deck to the roof arranging them properly for the journey. In 2 Miles, teams had to travel to a nearby temple and choose a rickshaw. In the event of a flat tire, pumps were provided for the teams. Then, while one team member sat in back, the other pulled the rickshaw and found their way two miles through the streets of Phuket to King Rama IX Park."
Mark & Michael decide to go for the rickshaws and when they get there, they see the tire pumps laying there by the rickshaws and fill up their flat tire. Then Mark grabs up all the tire pumps and puts them in the box nearby, making it not as obvious and hoping to delay the other teams with flats. I thought it wasn’t a bad idea - but stay tuned.....

They take off in their rickshaw, they spot their cab and figure they have to pay him anyway, so why not follow him to the Park? I thought that wasn’t a bad idea either - until Tammy & Victor get there and their driver offers to lead them and they read the clue better, which says they cannot hire someone to guide them. They have their driver draw them a map and then tell him to meet them at the Park. They did take off without their air pump, as did all the other teams, but no one got a flat anyway.

Margie & Luke are trying to find the 100 Barrels when they bump into Cara & Jamie, who are also lost. Cara & Jamie’s driver knows where the 2 Miles location is and they decide to switch tasks. Kisha & Jen aren’t doing great finding the Barrels either but stick with it and eventually find the location. In the meantime, Mark & Michael are cruising along in their rickshaw, trading places when the running brother gets tired and following their cab driver to the Park. Mel & Mike get through the drawers and decide to do 100 Barrels also. Victor pulls the rickshaw all they way, which is admirable, but then complains that his sister (his little sister, who is younger and smaller) was heavy. (Smack him once for me, Tammy!) Luke takes off in the rickshaw and Margie realizes that she can’t communicate with Luke, who is running in front of her and tipping the rickshaw so far up she’s almost falling out the back. Margie takes over for a little bit and I can only imagine how she feels (if I could actually run for any distance) in that Thailand heat. Cara is pulling Jamie in the rickshaw and Jamie is screeching at the locals for directions and none of them speak English either, damn them! (Methinks even if they did, they wouldn’t want to talk to her). Kisha & Jen decide to start with loading the empty barrels onto the roof and are almost done as Mel & Mike show up. Kisha then notices the hose with running water and realizes she could have been filling barrels while handing the empty ones up to Jen, which is what Mike does as he hands the barrels two at a time up to his dad on the roof of the boat. Victor & Tammy get to the park and drop their rickshaw at the entrance to the path, only to notice a sign down the way that tells them where to drop their rickshaws and have to go back to get it. Mark & Michael have finished their trek in the rickshaw and get to the Pit Stop, where Phil tells them yes, they are the first team to arrive but! They’ve incurred two 30-minute penalties: one for hiding the pumps and one for paying their cabbie to lead them to the Park. They sit over to the side and sulk, hoping no one shows up.

The teams finish their tasks and all start heading to the Pit Stop. Margie looks horrible in the cab, sweating and saying she has the chills, adding "this is the hottest place I’ve ever been" and "My hands are numb. I feel like I’m gonna pass out." Kisha gets a sneezing fit in the cab and Jen blesses her for the first two, then tells her to "shut up" after the third. (She had some funny noises while sneezing, too). As Mark & Michael have about 4 minutes left in their penalty, Victor & Tammy show up and are told they are the first place team and win a trip to Hawaii. Cara & Jamie show up shortly thereafter, grabbing second, and Mark & Michael end up in third, disappointed but happy to be in the top half of the finish. Margie & Luke show up and Phil tells her "the bionic woman has done it!" As they celebrate their finish, Margie gets wobbly on her legs and pretty much passes out. Phil and the crew members rush to bring her a chair and some water while poor Luke freaks out. They get her out of the sun and fan her a bit and give her water. Someone asks Margie if she wants an ambulance, and she tells them no - she’s embarrassed now. I’d get over that pretty quick after ending up okay! Phil mentions in his blog that "it must have been especially scary for Luke, because otherwise no one could communicate with him."

Kisha & Jen’s taxi dropped them off at the wrong location and they had to scramble for a ride. It looked as if they were sunk when they managed to hitch a ride in a van with other people and managed to get to the Mat before Mel & Mike, who were eliminated. Phil asks Mel "what’s special about your son?" and Mike groans "keep it together, Dad." They really did bond well on the Race and were one of the most likeable teams I’ve ever seen on the show. Too bad for them, really.

So! Now that the "good guys" are gone, who looks like they’ll make it? Will Jamie be murdered as she screams at more locals or will she actually find someone who speaks English and be happy? Will the stunt guys manage not to screw something up on the next leg? Stay tuned!