Camels and ... Nose Flutes??!

The Blondies Christie & Jodi had hope they could overcome their Speed Bump and they did an admirable job, but they couldn’t get over the slow taxi in the horrible traffic of India, and off they go. They were a very nice example of how to run a Race nicely, but proved that "nice girls finish last" - at least for this leg of the Race.

Leaving the Pit Stop, the teams were told to fly to India through Moscow to Jaipur, then taxi to find the Peepli Ka Pedh, or sacred tree, for their next clue. At the airport the teams discussed flights, but realized they would all be on the same flight to Jaipur. Mel & Mike noticed the airline sign and Mel said "Tell me, would you want to fly on an airline named Kacca?" (No, Mel, I wouldn’t!) Tammy & Victor got out of the airport first, followed by our Blondies (good start, ladies). After discussing their destination with their cab driver, Mel & Mike decided to find another cab who really knew where he was going, but the driver dashed off to find someone to give him directions. In the meantime, their bags were in the trunk and Mel & Mike were going nowhere until the driver came back. He did, with directions, but Mel was irritated that they were now leaving in last place. After urging the driver to catch up to the other teams, he said ''This race certainly isn't important enough to dehumanize somebody else by yelling and screaming at them, so I'm gonna feel bad about it for the rest of the day.'' (Let’s see, he doesn’t bother God for help in a reality race, he’s not yelling at cabbies ... what is this, "Let’s see how nice we can be on the Race?" There really are no nasty people this time out. Irritating know-it-all brothers, yes. Willing to U-Turn someone to get ahead, yes. Screamers - nope.) The good start of the Blondies got blown to bits when their cab had to stop for gas. Jodi wanted to know if they had "a hurry button."

All the teams noted how crazy the cab drivers were - as well as the rest of the drivers. It seemed lane markers were just a suggestion! Mark & Michael enjoyed the ride of their "insane" driver and everyone noticed the monkeys jumping from trees to buildings. The teams ended up driving through the slums of the city (no "Slum Dog Millionaire" references here, I never saw the movie). The conditions of the city and seeing children eating garbage and dogs, goats and cows roaming all over made some of the racers upset. Luke told Margie that he felt so bad for the kids, eating garbage and running around naked, crying at the sights. Jaime looked upset and crying as well, but then ends up on the opposite end of the spectrum when she yells at people for "not having the decency to speak English."

At the tree, two red phones sat near a group of "mystics" with instructions to call one of four numbers for instructions. Neither Tammy nor Victor could understand the voice, so they called Babu, their cab driver, to listen and got right out of there. They ended up passing the other teams going to the tree and grinned that they were in first place.

As the other teams came up to the tree, they pestered the mystics asking if they had a clue for them. They wandered in the area, looking for a clue box, moving rocks and branches. Mel asked "Why would mystic men sitting under a tree have a red phone?" but then kept looking. (DUH moment of the Race, so far!) Kisha & Jen noticed the phone and jumped on it, getting the clue and running back to their cab. Kisha asked her cabbie and said, ''Do you know 'A mad football?'' The cab driver looked at her and said ''Amber Fort? I understand.'' How on EARTH did he figure that out?

At the Amber Fort, the clue was a Roadblock. "In it, one team member had to choose a group of camels and, using a set of traditional tools, load and carry enough food and water to satisfy each of the camels in their group. Once the pile of food reached the designated line and the water spilled through a hole the trough, teams would receive their next clue." Victor grabbed the metal bucket that was to be used for the water to carry the camel feed, but then noticed the baskets and rakes nearby and got the feed stacked before the other teams showed up. They didn’t know what the task was before they volunteered, and Mel ended up doing this rather physical challenge, along with Jaime, Margie, Kisha and Mark. They saw Victor hauling water and everyone grabbed a bucket and followed suit. Mel’s son Mike fretted on the sideline, watching his dad go back and forth, saying "this isn’t a challenge for a 68-year-old." Mel was panting every step of the way. Mike said, "I can’t even watch any more. I know we’ll be here a half-hour after everyone else has gone." Well, Mr. Poopypants, your daddy was pretty smart! He actually read the clue and remembered that it said "use traditional native tools" and saw the huge baskets and rakes for use with the feed, while everyone else used their water buckets. The old man ended up beating all those 20-somethings and Mel & Mike took off to find the next clue. Christie & Jodi, getting there in last place, ended up getting ahead of the stunt guys Mark & Mike, giving themselves hope they could move up a little more. Jaime had to try and get the camel feed out of her shirt, saying "I used my boobies to transport the hay." I’m surprised Kisha didn’t have the same comment, because she stuffed her shirt with the feed and used the bucket to keep it in.

The clue had the teams cabbing it to a puppet store to the next clue box. It was a Detour: Movers or Shakers. "In Movers, teams had to travel to the Sanganeri Gate, where they needed to choose a cycle rickshaw loaded high with barrels. Then, they had to transport the barrels by pedaling one and a half miles through the congested streets of Jaipur to Zorawar Singh Gate, and search through their containers for a small metal elephant that they could exchange for their next clue. In Shakers, teams had to travel to a nearby busy intersection, put on traditional costumes and makeup, and join a Rajasthani dance troupe. Then, they had to go out in the streets and shake their hips for tips. After earning 100 rupees, they would receive their next clue." All the teams except Mark & Mike decide to be Shakers. As the teams got their makeup and costumes on, and Mark & Mike bicycled to their destination, Christie & Jodi got their Speed Bump, where they had to go and paint an elephant’s face for a festival. Watching Mark & Mike having trouble finding the little elephant in all that hay made me think they may actually have a shot at getting there ahead of at least one other team. All the "Shakers" seemed to have fun gathering rupees (although some of the dancing wasn’t even worth a half-rupee, if you ask me!) Luke had to watch Margie dance to get the rhythm, not being able to hear the music - and Margie was fun to watch, considering she had lipstick all over her teeth and is lucky the locals didn’t run screaming from her instead.

As Jaime & Cara finished their dance and turned in their money, they looked for their cab driver who had seemingly disappeared. Jaime started screaming to anyone who would listen, saying "he left with our bags! Did he steal our bags? Where did he go? Sightseeing? For a cup of coffee?" It was interesting that when Margie & Luke stopped to find out what was going on, and Jaime screamed to them, Luke told his mom "Let’s go." I guess she was yelling enough to give a deaf guy a headache. It turned out that they arrived at the Pit Stop with Kisha & Jen and Margie & Luke and lost to both teams in a foot race.

Arriving at the Mat, a gentleman was standing with Phil with two small flutes, and playing them with his nose. At least he didn’t have a cold, for chrissakes! How gross is that and why on earth do Indians play flutes with their noses???! Ewwww!

So, the teams ended up this way:
1 - Tammy & Victor
2 - Mel & Mike
3 - Kisha & Jen
4 - Margie & Luke
5 - Cara & Jaime
6 - Mark & Michael
7 - Christie & Jodi (eliminated)

So, folks, do you think Jaime will end up with a meltdown somewhere? On which leg do you think Mel will finally have a coronary? Is Victor’s happy-go-lucky attitude irritating you yet? And are you going to scour the Yellow Pages for someone to teach you to play the flute with your nose? Let’s talk!