Nothing Like Getting Kicked in the Head by a Cow!

What a night! While my TiVo takes care of taping The Amazing Race, NHRA was racing in Phoenix and the USA and Canada were playing hockey....oh, if I only had a clone to watch all this stuff! I watched most of the hockey game as I flipped to NHRA during commercials, then caught up with TAR - all in all, my eyeballs are a bit fuzzy now.....

We begin the second leg of The Amazing Race in Valparaiso Chile. Leaving first, Jordan & Jeff read their clue, which tells them to take a bus to Santiago, then another bus 575 miles to Peurto Varas. Then they must drive to a lake, take a boat and "climb to Mirador" for their next clue. They get to the bus stop and find out that it doesn’t open till 5 AM, meaning all the teams will be on the same bus. Jordan & Jeff see a dog while waiting around, and Jeff proves that Jordan isn’t the only dumb rock in the box - he insists that the dog only understands Spanish. (He needs to watch the Dog Whisperer!) The Cowboys think that everyone underestimates them, thinking they didn’t graduate eighth grade. They do make a comment, though, that doesn’t help - “I’ve been wearing a hat forever, and if I can’t wear a hat someplace, I don’t know if I wanna go there.” (Betcha he doesn’t get married any time soon, if he’s that attached to his hat!) Carol & Brandy decide to try and align themselves with Joe & Heidi, noticing that Joe speaks Spanish and liking their work ethic.

Joe & Heidi get crap from Louie & Michael for holding spots for Carol & Brandy as the ticket office opens, but Joe & Heidi protest, saying that the girls gave them money. The four managed to get the four last seats on the first bus and the rest of the teams will be leaving at 7:45 PM. However, standing in line and watching everyone buy tickets, Jordan & Jeff and Brent & Caite decide to double-check the clue and see if they have to take a bus directly from Santiago to Puerto Varas (they don't). The cowboys have the same idea and find an English-speaking local who tells them to take a bus to Temuco, then catch one from there to Peurto Varas. Asking the ticket agent, the other teams find out they can catch the same bus as the Cowboys to Temuco, leaving at 9:00 AM, and getting into Peurto Varas around 11 PM (rather than 8 AM the next day like the other buses). Carol & Brandy, thinking they’re going to be way ahead, are feeling pretty good even after waiting around Santiago for 9 hours to take off because they’re ahead of all the other teams. (Surprise coming, Brandy!) The Cowboys find out from the two other teams that they are leaving Temuco at 6:30 rather than the 7:00 that they’re on, but after checking find out that the 6:30 bus leaves from another terminal in Temuco which is ten minutes away, and it’s 6:20. They laugh to themselves and stay away from the other teams so as not to let them know they're in deep doo-doo until after 6:30. Looking for the bus, the teams stop at the ticket counter and find out they need to take a taxi to the other terminal to catch the 6:30 bus - and rush off only to find out that their bus has left. Brent & Caite and Jordan & Jeff get back to the original terminal just as the Cowboys drive by in their 7 PM bus. Their wonderful plan of getting ahead of all the other teams goes right down the drain as they end up having to wait around the rest of the day as no more buses are leaving. They manage to get tickets for a 1:00 AM bus and will get to Peurto Varas around 6:30 AM.

Arriving in Peurto Varas in first place, the Cowboys grab their car and drive to the Petrohue Hotel, only to find out the marked path won’t open until 7 AM. Joe & Heidi and Carol & Brandy get to the cars and take off before Brent & Caite and Jeff & Jordan arrive in their bus.

It’s raining as the Cowboys take off and one of them (can’t tell them apart yet, sorry) had borrowed a plastic bag to cover his hat, looking really dapper in a trashy sort of way. Some teams have a problem with driving stick shifts, which surprises me to no end - if they’ve EVER watched the show, they know that foreign countries drive sticks and one should think to practice before leaving!!!!

The clue is a Detour - since the Chileans have a great connection with the animals of their country: Llama Adoration or Condor Consternation. For Llama, the teams must choose a llama from a herd and dress it in a blanket and scarf to get their next clue. For Condor, the teams must put on a beak, feet and 16-foot wings and attempt to “soar” off a dock to a target in the water. Caite proves she can’t read, pronouncing “Adoration” as “add-or-shun.” (It also took some real sounding out to get “Consternation.” And this woman was a Miss America contestant????!)

The Cowboys get to the llama pen and find out that the llamas were in no mood to be “jacked with.” The first two llamas took off, but one seemed to come up to them and gave them no problems about getting dressed - prompting Jet to call Cord a “llama whisperer.” They get their clue and find out they need to drive to the Bellavista Farm for their next clue.

Joe & Heidi and Carl & Brandy try to lure the llamas with food, which isn’t working well, especially when Joe gets a good kick to the stomach by one of the llamas. Brent & Caite decide to try the Condor and are pictures of Condor beauty jumping off the dock and hitting the ice cold water. Joe & Heidi finally grab a llama that was lying down and manage to dress him and get their clue, and Carol & Brandy aren’t far behind. Jeff & Jordan are going to fly off the dock too, and find out there is no “flying off” but they get to the end of the dock and immediately drop. Steve & Allie decide to fly also and look just as goofy as the other teams.

Daniel & Jordan are having mega problems figuring out where to go and seemingly get lost, just as Jody & Shannon get to their car and realize they’re in last place. Shannon hopes that other teams will have problems driving a stick so they can catch up. Dan & Jordan end up at some house near the water, can’t go in reverse and push the car back enough to be able to move forward and take off once again.

At the llama pen, the detectives are having problems when Monique & Shawn show up and make short time with their llama, and Michael & Louie are ticked for being “beat by the mommies.”

Meanwhile, Jet & Cord get to the next clue box. Their Roadblock clue tells them they will be helping make a Kuchen - a cake baked by the German immigrants that make up this part of the country. They must run around the farm collecting the ingredients - butter, flour, sugar, eggs, and milk - straight from the cow. The Cowboys should have this one in the bag, I bet they’ve milked a cow or two! Once they get the ingredients they’ll get their next clue. Cord makes quick work of the cow milking, takes off his "hat protector" to carry the eggs, and get the rest to the kitchen and gets his clue. They must drive back to Peurto Varas and find Gruta De La Virgen, a park that is the Pit Stop. The baker lady also offers Cord a piece of the cake, and he plays dumb when he gets back to Jet, saying “it looked like some kinda pie” but Jet realizes that Cord ate some and calls him out.

Heidi and Carol do the Roadblock together, dodging getting kicked and cows peeing next to them. Funny watching the city slickers deal with the cows! It seems as if the teams don’t have any real problems with this challenge, but all are complaining about the smell in the cow barn. We see Michael & Louie get to the farm but don’t see the proper signage and drive right by. Monique decides to try the challenge and finds out it’s dangerous trying to milk a cow as she dodges a kick.

Dan & Jordan get to the llamas, and Jordan (the gay one) decides to take off his jacket and does a striptease move, twirling the jacket above his head, as the local women “ooh and aah” and Dan laughs “if only they knew.” They get what looks like the smallest llama there and finish shortly after Jody & Shannon show up.

Jet & Cord get to the Mat first, and Phil tries to be cute saying “you may need another buckle for your belt.” (That’s the only cowboy reference you could come up with, Phil?)

Jordan does the ingredient-gathering, talking to the cows and seeing his cow poop after he gets done milking, saying “Bessie, if you had done that as I was milking you, we wouldn’t be friends.” (*rolling eyes here) Jeff & Jordan are back in Peurto Varas looking for the Pit Stop, and meet up with Michael & Louie, who find out that they had passed the farm right by and have to go back 19 miles. They get there as they see that Jody & Shannon are there. Michael can’t find the pantry, and Jody is almost done filling her cup when she gets kicked in the head by the cow and drops the milk and has to begin again. Michael gets through the challenge and Shannon has to watch as the detectives take off. The show tries to edit the ending, making it look like Jody & Shannon have a chance, but they end up eliminated. Too bad considering that Grandma was in pretty good shape and didn’t seem like they should have been that far behind.

So here’s the order of finish:

1 - Jet & Cord
2 - Joe & Heidi
3 - Carol & Brandy
4 - Brent & Caite
5 - Monique & Shawn
6 - Jordan & Jeff
7 - Steve & Allie
8 - Dan & Jordan
9 - Louie & Michael
10 - Jody & Shannon - eliminated

So does it look like the Cowboys aren’t really as dumb as everyone expects? And that Caite is dumber than everyone thinks she is? Is anyone emerging as the team to beat? We’ll find out more next week!