Poker, Steer Roping, and Guess What? The Cowboys Do Well!

Another exciting leg of the Amazing Race! The Cowboys manage to keep their lead, but the Lawyer Moms just can't cut it and end up being eliminated. Too bad they couldn’t have lasted longer, I liked their attitude and they seemed like really good friends.

Jet & Cord leave the Pit Stop in Puerto Varas, Chile, first, and their clue tells them to take one of two buses on 6-hour ride to Argentina, Bienvenidos S. C de Bariloche, then drive to El Boliche Viejo. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid hid out there. They’ll have to play five-card stud against a Roaming Gnome (huh?) One of the Cowboys looks at the picture of the outlaws given in their clue and the Gnome is in it - and says “I don’t remember the Gnome being in the movie.” (PLEASE tell me he’s not serious!!!!!)

The first bus leaves at 8:30 a.m., the second at 8:50 a.m., and seeing Carol & Brandy opening their clue at 11:55 p.m., I’m thinking it will be interesting when most, if not all, of the teams are at the bus station in the morning. (As the later teams open their clues, we find out that the first three teams to leave get the 8:30 bus, everyone else gets an 8:50 bus. What fun is that - no fighting to get on earlier?) Jet & Cord go into a bar and find a woman who speaks English and get valuable information about where they’re going.

Brent & Caite are both sick, thinking they may have food poisoning. They don’t look a bit well but don’t want to give up, but they go to the hospital to get checked out. They show the team in the emergency room get IV fluids an hour after they were supposed to leave. Thinking they were way far behind, they bump into the detectives and feel much better that they’re not out of the Race.

At the bus station, the Cowboys are quizzed by Carol & Brandy about the bus they took the day before, how they found it - which looked more like an Inquisition. Those girls aren’t go to find out anything if they keep that up! Joe & Heidi join them on the first bus. Jet & Cord lead the way out of the bus station and don’t like everyone following them, because they know where they’re going. They pull over on the side of the road and let the other two teams pass them up. They get to their poker destination at the same time anyway and sit down with some ornery-looking dealers. Carol & Brandy get sneered at when they ask “are you our lucky dealer?” Joe & Heidi win first with a pair of nines over the Gnome’s ace. The clue on the bottom of the Gnome says to “Hoof it to the Pena Gaucha.” Carol & Brandy are next to win and take off with their Gnome. Jet & Cord joked that their Gnome had the best poker face - “could never tell when he was bluffing.”

The next clue box offers a Roadblock. One of the team members must learn steer roping. After a demonstration they will try and rope the steer on a hay bale 18 feet away and pull it in to get their clue. Jet & Cord finally win their poker game and are ecstatic that the challenge involves roping. Heidi and Carol try the task and fail miserably as Jet (or Cord, still don’t have who is who down yet) gets it on what looks like his second toss. Jordan shows up and will try the task, and Carol (and shortly after, Heidi) manage to rope their steer.

The teams must now drive to Puente Nirihuau and search the cliffs by the river for the clue box.

Steve & Allie win their poker game quickly, as we see the Cowboys make it to the river. As they walk around the rocky terrain, one asks “What’s the rules about breaking the Gnome on the way down?” and the other answers “Not as bad as breaking your leg!” (Heehee! I’m really beginning to like these two!) The clue is a Detour. Teams have to choose between Horse Sense or Horse Power. For Horse Sense, teams will find a gunslinger who will give them directional coordinates and they must use a compass to walk out the correct number of steps to find a buried bag of money and deliver it at a train station to the “lead bandit.” If the coordinates on the bag match the ones on their paper, the bandit will hand them a coin, which is their next clue. In Horse Power, they will go to a polo field and using a wooden practice pony, they will move it around the field and try to score in nine shots or less to get their clue. They find the training field and Cord goes to the real horses to choose one, but Jet bursts his bubble by showing him the wooden ones. They drag the wooden horse around the field wishing they had a real one because they probably would have done it faster! They get a trophy with this on the bottom: Estancia Fortin Chacabuco, which is a ranch at the foot of the Andes Mountains and the next Pit Stop.

Carol & Brandy, snipping at each other, decide to try Horse Sense and this oughta be fun. It seems that everyone thinks they will have to ride a real horse - Jordan & Jeff decide to try Horse Sense because of this idea too. After getting lost, Joe & Heidi see that Jordan & Jeff managed to get ahead of them. Carol & Brandy manage to find a shovel and start digging, but Brandy notices it’s not recently moved dirt. As Jeff reads the clue, he seems to think the gunslinger is the “lead bandit” and may end up going back to him to have him check his loot. Read the clue, kids!!!!

Joe has a compass on his watch and decides he’s got this task nailed. However, Heidi reads the clue that they have to count their steps - and Joe decides you only have to do that if you don’t have a compass. (I sometimes wonder where people come up with this stuff. The only way to do things on the Amazing Race is via the clues. I would assume the clues are gospel and pay an extreme amount of attention to what they say.)

Carol & Brandy are not doing well and decide to switch tasks. They interview later that “the argument may do us damage in the long term.” (Jeeze, it’s not that big of an argument. Little sensitive, huh honey?)

Brent & Caite are lost and stopping for directions and Caite mumbles that she wishes Brent was driving, but he can’t drive a stick so she’s stuck driving. Monique & Shawn are at the steer roping and Shawne is trying desperately to rope her steer and says she’s trying to stay calm because if she gets frustrated, it won’t work. (Wow, a smart racer! One of the best ways to do well on the Race is to keep your cool!) Dan ropes his steer as Jordan cheers on the sideline (and I mean cheers, with a little skirt and pom-poms and everything!) Dan must be influenced by this brother a bit because he kisses the steer after he pulls it in.

Joe & Heidi think they’ve found a bag, but realize it’s just a chunk of rope in the sand. Jordan & Jeff find a bag and yank it out of the dirt, and run off to the gunslinger for their clue - getting nowhere, of course. Joe & Heidi find a bag and yell to Jeff about the location of the train station, with Jeff answering “what are they talking about?” (Um, the clue. Doofus.) Joe & Heidi find the lead bandit, but their bags don’t match the coordinates, so back they go. They decide to switch tasks and go play polo. Jordan & Jeff go back to the gunslinger and get nothing, and Doofus Jeff’s getting frustrated.

Carol & Brandy are swinging their club at the polo ball, and Carol tries to encourage Brandy to hit it hard, saying “pretend it’s my face.” (These girls aren’t long for romance with that kinda talk.) Steve & Allie get done and get their trophy. Joe & Heidi start the polo “match” and Joe tips his horse forward after he hits the ball, falling to the ground. He goes to hit it again and does the same thing. (He should just lay across the saddle as the other teams were doing. He may not kill himself that way).

Brent & Caite finally make it to the poker hall and meet up with Monique & Shawne at the steer roping. Brent gets his steer and we see Shawne still struggling. She manages to get a horn but her rope falls off as she pulls it. I’m beginning to get tired just watching her! Monique prays for God to give Shawne the strength and direction and what do you know? Shawne ropes the steer on the next throw. I guess God decided to check in on the Amazing Race for a bit and felt sorry for the lawyer moms.

We see Jet & Cord get to the Pit Stop with their Gnome and trophy in hand and Phil tells them they’re team number one. Phil asks to see their belt buckles, which are huge, and asks if the buckles slow them down. The Cowboys tell Phil that “they hold our pants up. We’d be slower with our pants around our ankles.” (Okay. Maybe I’m easy but these guys are cracking me up.)

Louie & Michael join Dan & Jordan and Jordan & Jeff looking for the bags of loot. They map out the coordinates and realize they ‘ll be in the same general area when they finish as when they start, so they just start looking around. Dan & Jordan find a bag and check the coordinates first and find they don’t match, and decide to switch tasks. Louie & Michael find a bag and it doesn’t match their coordinates, but Jordan & Jeff check it and it matches theirs. They go back to the gunslinger and after getting nowhere yet again, read the clue and find out they have to go to the station - and Jeff tells Jordan “we should definitely not reproduce.” (Smartest thing I’ve heard from him all Race!) Joe & Heidi finally finish their polo match without killing themselves and dash off with their trophy.

We see Steve & Allie make it to the Mat in second place and Carol & Brandy get to Phil in third. Brandy tells Carol “imagine what we could do if we didn’t bicker!”

At the polo grounds, Jordan wants to color-coordinate their polo shirts and all Dan wants to do is get moving. They look pathetic trying to hit the polo ball and have to start over. Joe & Heidi make it to the Mat in fourth. At the rate Dan & Jordan are going, Brent & Caite are going to catch up in no time, and Monique & Shawne might even pass them up. Louie & Michael decide to give up on the loot finding and try polo, and Dan & Jordan once again fail in nine shots and have to start over. They see Monique & Shawne and Brent & Caite and Louie & Michael show up and all seem to have a real problem hitting the ball hard enough. Dan & Jordan finally finish the task and take off. Louie & Michael have to start over as we see Brent & Caite struggle to climb on the horse with no strength. Monique & Shawne end up having to start again, dragging their horse across the ground (lucky the horses weren’t real!) Louie & Michael and Brent & Caite finish and after a few more tries Monique & Shawne decide to try finding the loot, saying they were afraid to hurt their backs.

Louie & Michael get to the Mat as Monique & Shawne find their money and get it to the lead bandit. They talk about showing their kids that they didn’t give up, but end up eliminated at the Mat.

1 - Jet & Cord
2 - Steve & Allie
3 - Carol & Brandy
4 - Joe & Heidi
5 - Jordan & Jeff
6 - Dan & Jordan
7 - Brent & Caite
8 - Louie & Michael
9 - Monique & Shawn (eliminated)

So the Cowboys are obviously not as stupid as they seem (reminds me of a Jeff Foxworthy routine about how a southerner can be a Nobel Prize winning physicist but as soon as they open their mouth, their accent/drawl makes them sound as stupid as a box of rocks). Of course, it helps that Argentina involved a lot of cowboy action - let’s see what happens in other countries....