Wow! The Redheads Cara & Jamie were thinking that they finally managed to come in first place, and Phil hands them a clue and says "keep racing!" Lucky for Keisha & Jen, who had a major meltdown at a task, meaning they won’t be eliminated this leg and have a chance to catch up.
Our teams are told to fly to Beijing, China and find a foot massage spa. Tammy & Victor were excited since they were just to Beijing for the Olympics and had a familiarity with the city. After the Mat argument last week, Luke is saying "It’s done with Keisha & Jen. We’re going to finish in the final three and kick their ass." Margie & Luke get to the airport first and as Keisha & Jen wait behind them to book tickets, they all find out that particular counter doesn’t accept foreign credit cards. Margie gets upset and mumbles that Keisha & Jen get to the other counter first rather than "go in the order that they were there in the first place." It doesn’t matter in the end, as they are all on the same flight. Tammy & Victor, using their language skills, ask the seating agent to give them seats as far up front as possible and put the other teams as far back as possible (leaving the Redheads in the last row). Tammy mentioned that "we will bring shame to our family" if they didn’t make it through this leg of the Race.
Once in Beijing, Luke and Keisha bumped into each other as they were running for taxis, but luckily nothing came out of that - I’m sure neither wanted to end up arrested in China for fighting at the airport. Keisha & Jen ended up with a slow cab driver and Cara & Jamie passed them up, even though they were the last off the plane after being stuck way in the back. Tammy remarked that she didn’t like feet, and was hoping that the task at the foot massage spa didn’t involve having to give foot rubs. Cara & Jamie make it to the spa first and find a Road Block. "One team member had to first drink a Chinese medicinal tea. Then, they would sit back and "enjoy" a foot massage, known for its therapeutic powers, which walked the fine line between pleasure and pain and lasted ten minutes. If the racer could endure the therapeutic massage for the entire ten minutes, they had to drink another cup of tea to receive their next clue. However, if the pain was too intense, the racer could say, "Uncle", to stop the massage, but if they did, they had to restart the massage from the beginning." Cara wasn’t thrilled with anyone touching her feet but I’m sure she would have welcomed a regular foot massage over what was to come. She was reduced to tears, squirming all over the chair as Jamie threatened her not to say "uncle." Keisha had to bite on her jacket to get through the "massage." As Tammy went in and saw the two of them, she asked "is it really that bad?" and Cara told her "having a baby has to be easier than this!" After a few minutes Tammy admitted that she’d much rather mess with someone else’s feet than endure the pain. Luke overruled Margie, who offered to do the task, and was sorry, signing "ow" over and over again. He and Tammy ended up holding hands for courage, and after Tammy left, he bit on his cap to get through the rest. (I don't even want to know what the "happy ending" at this spa was!!! Plus, the shots of the local spa ladies grinning creeped me out.)
The teams had trouble finding a taxi to take them to the Guangcai Natatorium which allowed Margie & Luke to catch up. Keisha & Jen were first to leave, and Cara & Jamie were going for the same cab as Tammy & Victor, who were telling the cab driver where they needed to go. Jamie bulldozed her way to the cab, telling Tammy "not this time, sister," and Tammy decided to let it go because "Jamie scares me." (All Tammy would have to do is scream in Chinese that Jamie had a gun or drugs and she’d be a bit delayed, I’d think! Of course, I can only imagine the penalty Phil would give her for that....)
At the Natatorium, Tammy & Victor get there first and get the clue, which is a Detour - Sync or Swim. "In Sync, teams would try to master the skill of synchronized diving by jumping off the three-meter springboard and hitting the water in perfect unison. When they performed a jump where they hit the water simultaneously, and received a passing score of five from the judges, they would receive their next clue. In Swim, teams had to change into the revolutionary Speedo laser suit, the same type of suit worn by Michael Phelps when he won 8 gold medals at the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games. Then, they had to swim eight lengths of the pool in a 400-meter relay with team members alternating every two lengths, and competing against Michael Phelps’ time of 04:03.84 in the individual medley. While teams did not have to beat Phelps’ time, each team member had to complete 200 meters of the relay to receive their next clue."
Tammy & Victor decide to try the diving after watching a diver bounce twice on the board and jump in feet first, thinking it would be easier than the swimming. Victor looked embarrassed walking out of the locker room with the bathing suit they gave him, a little Speedo, saying "this is skimpy." It was funny watching them try to "dive" in unison - they were getting scores of 1's and 2's - they couldn’t even jump off the boards at the same time! Keisha & Jen had gotten there by this time and decided to try the diving because Jen had a huge fear of water and figured this would be easier to take than swimming. Jen walked out to the edge of the board and said "I can’t do this" so they decided to switch tasks. As they changed into the laser swimsuits, Keisha mentioned that "I don’t think these are made for someone with these thighs," trying hard to squeeze into the suit. She jumped in first to swim the first leg, and while I thought she was taking so long and grabbing onto the lane markers on the way back, I realized she was doing that after about 10 meters (which isn’t like a skip in the park, but c’mon already!) I was a swimmer in high school, but we swam yards - when I got to college I visited the pool and jumped in to do a few laps, and realized it was a meter pool - and meters are much longer than I expected! Still, the teams were not expected to go fast or look pretty doing it, or not even stick to one stroke (they could dog paddle if they wanted). After her first lap, Jen convinced Keisha to go back to the diving board for another crack at that.
Cara & Jamie had decided to do the swim, and while they weren’t anywhere near graceful in the water, they kept at it and finished the 400 meters in 9:53. They got their clue and were told to head to the Pit Stop at Drum Tower. They were excited, thinking that this was finally the leg they could come in first, but knowing that they’ve been first to leave tasks before and something always managed to screw them up like bad drivers or directions kept them anxious.
In the meantime, Margie & Luke did the swim and while Margie complained that it was hard to breathe in the swimsuit, they finished the race with a time to beat of 8:05. Talking in the cab about the troubles Keisha & Jen were having, Margie said "Jen and Kisha, bye bye. They’re tough on land, but in the water, they’re nothing."
Tammy & Victor finally decide to stop attempting to dive after failing miserably on numerous tries and switch to swimming. After two dives, Jen started falling apart, crying that she didn’t want to do the task any more. Keisha tried her best to convince Jen to keep moving, saying "we want to go out strong," and pretty much resigning herself to the fact that it was the end of the line for them. After their swim was over with a time of 10:29 and Tammy & Victor found a cab, Victor started having horrible cramps in his legs and they had to take some time for the cramps to stop so Victor could bend his legs and sit in the cab. By this time Keisha had convinced Jen to go back for the swim, and they Keisha put on a flotation jacket to show solidarity with Jen, and they managed to get through the 200 meters each. (Okay, if one can’t swim this makes sense, and they had to know it would be available - I just can’t fathom someone being that petrified in a pool [as opposed to a lake or river] and wearing a life vest! A definite advantage over the other teams not using the life vests.)
With Victor having cramp trouble, I figured this gave the producers a chance to show a little mystery - maybe Keisha & Jen had time to catch up (their swimming time was 18:19). Would there be an actual race to the Mat for 3rd place?
Well, no. As Cara & Jamie proudly jump on the Mat in front of Phil, pretty sure they finally finished a leg in first, Phil pulls out a clue and tells them "this leg of the Race is not yet over. Keep racing!" I almost felt sorry for them - almost. Maybe if they’d been a bit nicer to people along the way.....
So we find out next week who our final three teams are! Got a favorite? Who do you want out next week? Let's talk!
Monday, April 27, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
No Melting Mat, But Plenty of Bickering While the Stunt Guys Go Home
Well, after the much-hyped "mat meltdown" previews, it didn’t live up to the billing for me, although what led up to the arguments at the Mat seemed pretty childish and really rough for the Race! Luke and Jen got pretty physical going after the clue boxes, and it ended up with really bad feelings for both teams. Will they manage to settle down and behave like competitive adults or keep up the schoolyard fighting? We’ll see ....
The teams begin from Bangkok, Thailand and are told to fly to Guilin, China and then taxi to Qing Xui Lu to a hair salon and look for the clue box. Margie & Luke, leaving the Pit Stop first, find a flight leaving at 11:20 a.m. and no other teams can catch that flight. Tammy & Victor were excited about going to China - Tammy can speak fluent Chinese and they’re finally going to be able to communicate. It seemed like an omen when Jen said "With only five teams left, it’s getting tight and if someone’s in front of me I’m gonna knock ‘em over."
Tammy & Victor and Cara & Jamie caught up to Margie & Luke at the Guangzhou airport for their connecting flight, which was delayed. Kisha & Jen were on another flight leaving at 9:10 and ended up being first out of that airport. They were a bit worried, though, saying "We haven’t seen another team all day, we don’t know what the hell is going on." While Tammy & Victor easily tell their driver where they want to go, Luke says he’d like to go to a country where everyone is deaf, so they could have the advantage.
Kisha & Jen ended up with a cabbie who couldn’t find the hair salon and let them off in the wrong spot, killing what lead they had. Tammy & Victor see them and hope to pass them up, but their cabbie can’t find the salon either. Tammy laughs that "Even if we can speak the language, it just means we can understand that he doesn’t know where he’s going." Cara & Jamie have a great driver and are first to clue box, which tells them to go to the #24 Bridge. Tammy & Victor find the salon right after and are hot on the trail of the Redheads. Kisha & Jen jumped in another cab and said" We don’t trust Margie & Luke, they gave us wrong directions before." Margie & Luke get to the salon just before Kisha & Jen, and together they roam around like blind rats, with neither team seeing the clue box (and Luke could have stepped on it, he was so close). As they meander around, they manage to spot it from a couple doors down at the same time and took off running - and here comes the schoolyard behavior. Luke got there a hair before Jen, who pushed him a little (I think from the momentum of running, it didn’t look purposeful at all). Luke tries to keep Jen from getting her clue and Luke brought up his elbow and got really close to biffing Jen in the head. (Like getting the clue an extra second or two before Jen would really give them an advantage!) Jen calls him a bitch (and while I like Margie & Luke, I’m blaming Luke for this one, he maybe wasn’t a bitch, but he was acting like a real butthead). After his Mom tells him that the girls called him a bitch, Luke said "calling the deaf guy a bitch is not nice." (You know, Luke, you can’t have it both ways. Either you’re just like everyone else except you can’t hear, or you deserve special treatment. If the deaf guy acts like a bitch, he can be called a bitch!) Each team is yapping up a storm in their cabs, blaming the other team. Yeah, whatever. Get over yourselves, play nice kids!
At the bridge, Tammy & Victor and Cara & Jamie get their clues and find a Roadblock.
"In it, one team member had to take a raft out to the middle of the Li River and, with the help of a local, train birds known as cormorants to retrieve fish. Once they got their cormorant to return with a fish ten times, they would receive their next clue." Tammy and Jamie elect to try the task and as they take a boat out to the rafts, round two begins for Kisha & Jen and Margie & Luke, as they get to the clue box at the same time at the bridge. Jen is in front this time and Luke bumps into her at clue box and knocks her into it. (There. Now you’re even, each one of you got the clue first. Now settle down & race nice!) The complaining continues, as Kisha & Jen tell Victor as they pass his boat that "Luke pushed me into the clue box." (Wah, wah wah).
Mark & Michael left a good 4 hours behind all the other teams and are just getting to the salon, where they must perform the speed bump task. They have to wash and dry two little old ladies’ hair. Obviously they couldn’t go into the salon without being licensed in China, and the stunt guys get to perform their task out in front of the salon on the street. (Really, I think that was just the producer's way of giving back to the locals, by letting them laugh at the two little Americans "massaging the scalps" of two poor Chinese ladies). The ladies sit in chairs with a little towel on their shoulders and the guys just dump shampoo on their dry hair and start scrubbing. Mark said "It’s like I’m giving my Mom a shampoo," and if that’s how they do it at their house, it’s definitely wierd!
Back in the water, Tammy’s birds are not cooperating in finding fish. Victor tells her to stop speaking English and speak Chinese to the birds. Jamie is pretty grossed out with the fish but was surprised that "they could teach the birds to get them and not eat the fish. If somebody put filet mignon in my mouth, I’d eat it." (Hear, hear, sister!) Jamie’s birds were fighting over the fish. Luke doesn’t see his bird coming and puts his hand out holding a fish and the bird bites him on the hand. Luke says "dumb bird" (yes, that’s right Luke - the deaf guy isn’t dumb for holding out a fish that birds are trained to go after). Tammy’s birds don’t seem into their work and keep flying away. Jen gets done first with Jamie a close second.
The clue instructs the teams to go to the Ancient South Gate. Jen mentions on the way that "I really believe in karma" with Luke getting bit by the bird. Thanks to her birds, Tammy lost the lead and they finished last at the task, but since Margie & Luke had the slowest boat pusher (no engines, they used long poles to push off from the bottom of the river) they left the task in third place. As Victor jumps into his waiting cab, he tries to get an advantage and tells Margie & Luke’s cabbie in Chinese to "slow down - you’re driving too fast."
Mark & Michael get done with their Speed Bump and take off from the salon, hoping to catch another team at the #24 Bridge. No such luck, and here’s where we realize that unless something really drastic happens to another team (like Luke throwing Jen off a bridge) they’re pretty much toast. And after hearing Mark say "fowl is fish" (referring to the clue at the Roadblock saying "Who’s ready for some fowl play?") I’m figuring that gives us the clue as to why they kept getting themselves in trouble with the rules - a little ditzy, guys.
At the Ancient South Gate, the clue is a Detour: Choreography or Calligraphy. "In Choreography, teams had to make their way to the central island, and join a group of locals performing their morning dance routine, a popular form of exercise in Guilin. After learning the dance, the team had to perform it for a pair of judges who would hand them their next clue after they executed the steps correctly. In Calligraphy, teams had to make their way across the twin bridges and find the first of four calligraphy stations. Once there, they had to copy a series of Chinese characters that form the name of their next artist’s station. When they successfully reached the fourth and final station, the artist would hand them their next clue." Cara & Jamie race off to choreography, with Jamie saying "I have the most atrocious handwriting - in college I couldn’t even read my own notes."
As Cara & Jamie learned the dance, they joked that their teachers were "manhandling us" as the couple pushed them into position. Still thinking this would be a piece of cake, they stated "We’re cheerleaders. We pick up choreography at a quicker pace, this is our advantage." So much for an advantage, they were stepping on other dancers and crashing into couples as they did the routine. Their teachers were having a great time on the sidelines laughing at them. After two attempts they are told they still don’t have it right, and Jamie is getting frustrated with the judge, who doesn’t speak English (imagine!) and can’t tell her what they’re doing wrong. (I keep wondering how long it will take to sink in to Jamie’s head that other countries speak different languages and it is not unusual for them not to speak English!) They stomp off to switch tasks, but decide to give it another shot by dancing until the music stops, not when they’ve been through the routine once. This was what they were doing wrong and they finally get their clue.
At the calligraphy station, Tammy & Victor are chattering in Chinese as the teams try to copy what he is drawing. They get done and tell the calligrapher to stamp them first, which the calligrapher goes along with - after all, he can understand them! Tammy & Victor try to garner sympathy from the artist, telling him that "if we don’t win our parents will cry themselves to death." The drawing wasn’t really that difficult, but finding the next station was the problem, and since Tammy & Victor easily found out where to go, Kisha & Jen and Margie & Luke stayed right on their tails and followed them through the challenge.
Mark is in the boat covered up with a blanket and looking quite comfortable while Michael throws fish to his bird. I know it’s fun watching the birds retrieve the fish, but Michael was tossing the fish really far from the boat and wasting a lot of precious time. Maybe he knew they were done for and figured he’d have fun while he could.
Tammy & Victor finish the calligraphy task first and get their clue to go to the Pit Stop on foot. Margie & Luke and Kisha & Jen are close behind. Phil sees them all running and mentions it to the Chinese couple eating noodles and sipping tea at a table next to Phil, and they are more impressed with their lunch than the fact that a bunch of crazy Americans are barreling toward them. Kisha & Jen make it to the Mat first (running is their specialty, after all), with Tammy & Victor second and Margie & Luke third.
Phil looks at the teams and mentions that "things are getting a little more tense now, as we get closer to the finish." Victor smiles and agrees, but says "it’s a good spirited competition." This whole time, Margie is signing to Luke not to say anything, and Luke arguing that "I’m angry," After Victor’s remark, though, Margie blurts out that Jen "bashed into Luke" shoving him from behind - twice! - and then called him a bitch. Kisha & Jen babbled back to Phil, giving their side of the story about what happened. (Victor and Tammy are beginning to look worried, standing between the two teams on the Mat. Victor is probably thinking that he should keep his thoughts to himself from now on!) Luke gets pissed and walks away but Phil calls him back to "get your side of the story." He signs that "it’s my turn to talk now" and Kisha gives what is described as a "nervous giggle." This sets Margie off again, and she yells "don’t laugh at my son when he signs." Kisha says no, she smiles during tense situations, but Margie gets more pissed. "He’s signing and they’re laughing at him." Phil tries to calm her down and says "I don’t think that’s what they meant" but Margie’s on a roll and starts lecturing. "He’s lived with this his whole life and he doesn’t need it from people like you. You should understand oppression because you’re black and you’ve lived with it." Nice comment, empathetic, but lost on the sisters. You can’t make good points while screaming at someone (should have learned that from Jamie through the whole Race!) Of course, all this while they’re showing replays of the clue box battles, slow motion and all. Every time I saw the clips it fortified my feeling that all that drama and yelling was just overblown and ridiculous.
Cara & Jamie finally get their clue after the dance and made it to the Mat in fourth place. Cara asked Phil "were there five on this leg?" and felt very relieved when Phil confirmed it. Mark & Michael are shown doing the dance and looking hilarious with the teachers giggling even more than when watching the Redheads. Of course, they couldn’t make up the penalty time and ended up eliminated. They were nice enough guys, but their dumb mistakes and lack of knowledge of the rules eventually killed their chances. (And I really don’t mind - Michael’s nipples were starting to bother me. They’re really pointy and it was just ... weird.)
It’s getting interesting and close to the finish. Who’s got the best shot? Will Cara & Jamie actually be able to make it through the next leg so they can race in their own country (but don’t send Jamie down south, she’ll probably yell at people’s accents down there too!) Can Kisha & Jen and Margie & Luke play nice, or will they start a war in another country? Will Tammy & Victor keep up their good relationship and cruise in to win? The end is near!
1 - Kisha & Jen
2 - Tammy & Victor
3 - Margie & Luke
4 - Cara & Jaime
5 - Mark & Michael - Eliminated
The teams begin from Bangkok, Thailand and are told to fly to Guilin, China and then taxi to Qing Xui Lu to a hair salon and look for the clue box. Margie & Luke, leaving the Pit Stop first, find a flight leaving at 11:20 a.m. and no other teams can catch that flight. Tammy & Victor were excited about going to China - Tammy can speak fluent Chinese and they’re finally going to be able to communicate. It seemed like an omen when Jen said "With only five teams left, it’s getting tight and if someone’s in front of me I’m gonna knock ‘em over."
Tammy & Victor and Cara & Jamie caught up to Margie & Luke at the Guangzhou airport for their connecting flight, which was delayed. Kisha & Jen were on another flight leaving at 9:10 and ended up being first out of that airport. They were a bit worried, though, saying "We haven’t seen another team all day, we don’t know what the hell is going on." While Tammy & Victor easily tell their driver where they want to go, Luke says he’d like to go to a country where everyone is deaf, so they could have the advantage.
Kisha & Jen ended up with a cabbie who couldn’t find the hair salon and let them off in the wrong spot, killing what lead they had. Tammy & Victor see them and hope to pass them up, but their cabbie can’t find the salon either. Tammy laughs that "Even if we can speak the language, it just means we can understand that he doesn’t know where he’s going." Cara & Jamie have a great driver and are first to clue box, which tells them to go to the #24 Bridge. Tammy & Victor find the salon right after and are hot on the trail of the Redheads. Kisha & Jen jumped in another cab and said" We don’t trust Margie & Luke, they gave us wrong directions before." Margie & Luke get to the salon just before Kisha & Jen, and together they roam around like blind rats, with neither team seeing the clue box (and Luke could have stepped on it, he was so close). As they meander around, they manage to spot it from a couple doors down at the same time and took off running - and here comes the schoolyard behavior. Luke got there a hair before Jen, who pushed him a little (I think from the momentum of running, it didn’t look purposeful at all). Luke tries to keep Jen from getting her clue and Luke brought up his elbow and got really close to biffing Jen in the head. (Like getting the clue an extra second or two before Jen would really give them an advantage!) Jen calls him a bitch (and while I like Margie & Luke, I’m blaming Luke for this one, he maybe wasn’t a bitch, but he was acting like a real butthead). After his Mom tells him that the girls called him a bitch, Luke said "calling the deaf guy a bitch is not nice." (You know, Luke, you can’t have it both ways. Either you’re just like everyone else except you can’t hear, or you deserve special treatment. If the deaf guy acts like a bitch, he can be called a bitch!) Each team is yapping up a storm in their cabs, blaming the other team. Yeah, whatever. Get over yourselves, play nice kids!
At the bridge, Tammy & Victor and Cara & Jamie get their clues and find a Roadblock.
"In it, one team member had to take a raft out to the middle of the Li River and, with the help of a local, train birds known as cormorants to retrieve fish. Once they got their cormorant to return with a fish ten times, they would receive their next clue." Tammy and Jamie elect to try the task and as they take a boat out to the rafts, round two begins for Kisha & Jen and Margie & Luke, as they get to the clue box at the same time at the bridge. Jen is in front this time and Luke bumps into her at clue box and knocks her into it. (There. Now you’re even, each one of you got the clue first. Now settle down & race nice!) The complaining continues, as Kisha & Jen tell Victor as they pass his boat that "Luke pushed me into the clue box." (Wah, wah wah).
Mark & Michael left a good 4 hours behind all the other teams and are just getting to the salon, where they must perform the speed bump task. They have to wash and dry two little old ladies’ hair. Obviously they couldn’t go into the salon without being licensed in China, and the stunt guys get to perform their task out in front of the salon on the street. (Really, I think that was just the producer's way of giving back to the locals, by letting them laugh at the two little Americans "massaging the scalps" of two poor Chinese ladies). The ladies sit in chairs with a little towel on their shoulders and the guys just dump shampoo on their dry hair and start scrubbing. Mark said "It’s like I’m giving my Mom a shampoo," and if that’s how they do it at their house, it’s definitely wierd!
Back in the water, Tammy’s birds are not cooperating in finding fish. Victor tells her to stop speaking English and speak Chinese to the birds. Jamie is pretty grossed out with the fish but was surprised that "they could teach the birds to get them and not eat the fish. If somebody put filet mignon in my mouth, I’d eat it." (Hear, hear, sister!) Jamie’s birds were fighting over the fish. Luke doesn’t see his bird coming and puts his hand out holding a fish and the bird bites him on the hand. Luke says "dumb bird" (yes, that’s right Luke - the deaf guy isn’t dumb for holding out a fish that birds are trained to go after). Tammy’s birds don’t seem into their work and keep flying away. Jen gets done first with Jamie a close second.
The clue instructs the teams to go to the Ancient South Gate. Jen mentions on the way that "I really believe in karma" with Luke getting bit by the bird. Thanks to her birds, Tammy lost the lead and they finished last at the task, but since Margie & Luke had the slowest boat pusher (no engines, they used long poles to push off from the bottom of the river) they left the task in third place. As Victor jumps into his waiting cab, he tries to get an advantage and tells Margie & Luke’s cabbie in Chinese to "slow down - you’re driving too fast."
Mark & Michael get done with their Speed Bump and take off from the salon, hoping to catch another team at the #24 Bridge. No such luck, and here’s where we realize that unless something really drastic happens to another team (like Luke throwing Jen off a bridge) they’re pretty much toast. And after hearing Mark say "fowl is fish" (referring to the clue at the Roadblock saying "Who’s ready for some fowl play?") I’m figuring that gives us the clue as to why they kept getting themselves in trouble with the rules - a little ditzy, guys.
At the Ancient South Gate, the clue is a Detour: Choreography or Calligraphy. "In Choreography, teams had to make their way to the central island, and join a group of locals performing their morning dance routine, a popular form of exercise in Guilin. After learning the dance, the team had to perform it for a pair of judges who would hand them their next clue after they executed the steps correctly. In Calligraphy, teams had to make their way across the twin bridges and find the first of four calligraphy stations. Once there, they had to copy a series of Chinese characters that form the name of their next artist’s station. When they successfully reached the fourth and final station, the artist would hand them their next clue." Cara & Jamie race off to choreography, with Jamie saying "I have the most atrocious handwriting - in college I couldn’t even read my own notes."
As Cara & Jamie learned the dance, they joked that their teachers were "manhandling us" as the couple pushed them into position. Still thinking this would be a piece of cake, they stated "We’re cheerleaders. We pick up choreography at a quicker pace, this is our advantage." So much for an advantage, they were stepping on other dancers and crashing into couples as they did the routine. Their teachers were having a great time on the sidelines laughing at them. After two attempts they are told they still don’t have it right, and Jamie is getting frustrated with the judge, who doesn’t speak English (imagine!) and can’t tell her what they’re doing wrong. (I keep wondering how long it will take to sink in to Jamie’s head that other countries speak different languages and it is not unusual for them not to speak English!) They stomp off to switch tasks, but decide to give it another shot by dancing until the music stops, not when they’ve been through the routine once. This was what they were doing wrong and they finally get their clue.
At the calligraphy station, Tammy & Victor are chattering in Chinese as the teams try to copy what he is drawing. They get done and tell the calligrapher to stamp them first, which the calligrapher goes along with - after all, he can understand them! Tammy & Victor try to garner sympathy from the artist, telling him that "if we don’t win our parents will cry themselves to death." The drawing wasn’t really that difficult, but finding the next station was the problem, and since Tammy & Victor easily found out where to go, Kisha & Jen and Margie & Luke stayed right on their tails and followed them through the challenge.
Mark is in the boat covered up with a blanket and looking quite comfortable while Michael throws fish to his bird. I know it’s fun watching the birds retrieve the fish, but Michael was tossing the fish really far from the boat and wasting a lot of precious time. Maybe he knew they were done for and figured he’d have fun while he could.
Tammy & Victor finish the calligraphy task first and get their clue to go to the Pit Stop on foot. Margie & Luke and Kisha & Jen are close behind. Phil sees them all running and mentions it to the Chinese couple eating noodles and sipping tea at a table next to Phil, and they are more impressed with their lunch than the fact that a bunch of crazy Americans are barreling toward them. Kisha & Jen make it to the Mat first (running is their specialty, after all), with Tammy & Victor second and Margie & Luke third.
Phil looks at the teams and mentions that "things are getting a little more tense now, as we get closer to the finish." Victor smiles and agrees, but says "it’s a good spirited competition." This whole time, Margie is signing to Luke not to say anything, and Luke arguing that "I’m angry," After Victor’s remark, though, Margie blurts out that Jen "bashed into Luke" shoving him from behind - twice! - and then called him a bitch. Kisha & Jen babbled back to Phil, giving their side of the story about what happened. (Victor and Tammy are beginning to look worried, standing between the two teams on the Mat. Victor is probably thinking that he should keep his thoughts to himself from now on!) Luke gets pissed and walks away but Phil calls him back to "get your side of the story." He signs that "it’s my turn to talk now" and Kisha gives what is described as a "nervous giggle." This sets Margie off again, and she yells "don’t laugh at my son when he signs." Kisha says no, she smiles during tense situations, but Margie gets more pissed. "He’s signing and they’re laughing at him." Phil tries to calm her down and says "I don’t think that’s what they meant" but Margie’s on a roll and starts lecturing. "He’s lived with this his whole life and he doesn’t need it from people like you. You should understand oppression because you’re black and you’ve lived with it." Nice comment, empathetic, but lost on the sisters. You can’t make good points while screaming at someone (should have learned that from Jamie through the whole Race!) Of course, all this while they’re showing replays of the clue box battles, slow motion and all. Every time I saw the clips it fortified my feeling that all that drama and yelling was just overblown and ridiculous.
Cara & Jamie finally get their clue after the dance and made it to the Mat in fourth place. Cara asked Phil "were there five on this leg?" and felt very relieved when Phil confirmed it. Mark & Michael are shown doing the dance and looking hilarious with the teachers giggling even more than when watching the Redheads. Of course, they couldn’t make up the penalty time and ended up eliminated. They were nice enough guys, but their dumb mistakes and lack of knowledge of the rules eventually killed their chances. (And I really don’t mind - Michael’s nipples were starting to bother me. They’re really pointy and it was just ... weird.)
It’s getting interesting and close to the finish. Who’s got the best shot? Will Cara & Jamie actually be able to make it through the next leg so they can race in their own country (but don’t send Jamie down south, she’ll probably yell at people’s accents down there too!) Can Kisha & Jen and Margie & Luke play nice, or will they start a war in another country? Will Tammy & Victor keep up their good relationship and cruise in to win? The end is near!
1 - Kisha & Jen
2 - Tammy & Victor
3 - Margie & Luke
4 - Cara & Jaime
5 - Mark & Michael - Eliminated
Monday, April 13, 2009
You Need Your Passport. Really! And About Those Transvestites.....
After a week’s hiatus for the Country Music Awards, the Amazing Race continues! Our teams this week seemed to have lost it a bit - two teams leave their backpacks at a boatyard, Jamie is still being obnoxious to non-English speaking people, and we learn of a new rule that I swear was never a rule before. Let’s get going....
Tammy & Victor, leaving first, are instructed to fly to Bangkok, Thailand. Once there, they have to taxi to a boatyard to find their next clue. Cara & Jamie, leaving second, decide they want an "official" taxi and ask another gentleman on the street if it was "official." When the gentleman goes to ask someone else, Jamie screams "Listen! Don’t talk to him!" She explains it by saying "the language barrier frustrates me and I just can’t do anything about it." Huh? She has no self-control? Or is she just an innate bitch?
All the teams end up on the same flight to Bangkok. They tell their taxi drivers to "go fast" and urge them to pass the cab ahead of them, but none of the cabbies know where they’re going. Margie & Luke are following Kisha & Jen’s taxi and when the drivers stopped to get directions, Margie instructed her driver to tell Kisha & Jen’s driver the wrong directions. While not nasty, Margie & Luke are definitely playing to win this Race. And just to look at them, you wouldn’t have figured them to get this far - a deaf guy and his mommy?
At the boatyard, the clue was a Roadblock. One team member was to attach a propeller to a boat to get their next clue. Cara & Jamie had caught up to Margie & Luke but Margie made very short work of the propeller-building and was done first. The clue told them to navigate the canals with a map to find their next clue. Luke told Margie to get their bags before they took off from the dock. I didn’t think much of that (seemed like a no-brainer to me) until the other teams caught up, told their cabs to wait, and concentrated on the propeller. Cara & Jamie ran back to the cab to get their backpacks, trying not to let the other teams know what their clue was. Mark & Michael get done and take off, leaving their belongings with their waiting taxi. I’m beginning to see trouble looming! Mark & Michael wrongly assume they’ll be bringing the boat back to the dock (why they figured this, I don’t know. Really. How many times do they begin in one place and go back to that place? Really!) Kisha & Jen take off without their bags OR their fanny pack (with their money and passports in it) and leave Kisha’s shoes on the dock as well. Now backpacks, with clothing, etc. I can see one could live without if one had to. But to leave your money and passports out in a foreign country and "hope" it will still be there when you get back....just plain dumb. Victor proves to be a lousy mechanic as his propeller doesn’t work the first time and he has to try again. By this time the other teams have all gone - and Tammy & Victor wisely go get their bags before they take off in their boat. As they putter down the canal in their boat, Jen frets about their fanny pack with their passports, but Kisha tells her they’ll be coming back and not to worry about it. Jen mentions that she’s "listening to big sister" but finds out being older doesn’t necessarily make one smarter. There is some conversation about going back for the bags with Mark & Michael, but they press forward also.
The next clue is a Detour - Broken Teeth or Broken Record. The official website is not up yet for me to copy it formally, so you’ll be stuck with the "unofficial" version: In Broken Teeth, the teams had to go to a hallway called "the aisle of smiles" to find people waiting in front of bowls of water with assorted dentures. The teams had to pick through the dentures and match 5 people with their correct teeth. For Broken Record, the teams would find a karaoke cab and ride along for five miles, singing with a group of lovely (?) women (?). A couple of those women had extra appendages, I’d bet, if ya know what I mean! Margie & Luke are the only team to opt for the denture fitting - Margie says "I’m a bad singer, he’s a really bad singer, so we’re going to spare the people of Bangkok." At least they get gloves, masks and safety glasses to wear while helping the people with their teeth. It was pretty icky, but pretty funny, and Luke was pathetic at trying to fit the dentures - he was sticking lower dentures in people who needed uppers. Margie, saying it wasn’t difficult to get into people’s "personal space" because she was a nurse, fit all five people and off they went to the Pit Stop.
Jen is still fretting about her passport "sitting on a dock somewhere" but they jump in the karaoke cab and sing along, having a great time. Jen cracked me up, though, talking about their ride: ''My first question was, are those transvestites? My next question was, why do they wear so much makeup? Third question was, why are we in a party taxi with three transvestites?'' In the meantime, Tammy & Victor catch up and decide "we’re Chinese, we have to do karaoke." Mark & Michael, after much arguing and debate, decide to go back to their cab at the boatyard for their backpacks before they attempt the Detour. Mark is berating Michael for wanting to go back for his backpack, saying a million dollars was much more worth it, while Michael kept mentioning "irreplaceable stuff" he didn’t want to leave behind. My thought here is the cost of the cab, sitting there with the meter running....and running....and the fare getting higher.
Kisha & Jen get done with their ride and have to find a cab driver to take them to the Pit Stop - but they have no money, so they have to hope they can sucker a taxi into taking them for free. Cara & Jamie are running around yelling at cabbies to find one who knows where the Pit Stop is - a palace (which to me would be something a cabbie should know about, no?) Tammy & Victor mention that they’re happy to see Cara & Jamie, considering the redheads were out of the boatyard way ahead, but they’ve caught up. Mark & Michael get back to their original cab, pay the man and get their stuff, noticing that there was another cab waiting. Feeling a little better that at least one other team would have to go back, they took off for the Detour to attempt the karaoke.
Tammy & Victor’s cab has to stop for directions to the Pit Stop, and Cara & Jamie’s cabbie (who was following Tammy & Victor) has to ask as well. Jamie continued screeching at her cab driver, telling him not to tell Tammy & Victor’s driver the directions. As Mark & Michael get back to the Detour, they were $185 short (Thai money, don’t know what it’s called) and bartered a flashlight and compass to make up for it. They figured they’d also have to negotiate the cab fare to the Pit Stop. They jump in the karaoke cab with their transvestites, although it seemed that they didn’t know the girls weren’t girls, saying that "we’re part of the entertainment business, so we know how to show these girls a good time." Oh, yeah. They’d show you a thing or two, guys! And not a thing you’d want to see!!!
Margie & Luke have already checked in first to the Pit Stop. Cara & Jamie get there second, and Kisha & Jen outrun Tammy & Victor to get to the Mat third. However, Phil tells them they cannot check in without their travel documents, because without their passports, they couldn’t leave Thailand and they’d have to go back for their documents before they could be checked in. (It would be helpful for Kisha to have her shoes as well). That gave Tammy & Victor third place.
I remember Dallas & Toni, the mom & son from last season, checking in at the Mat without their passports (after their belongings drove off in a cab in Russia). Phil didn’t tell them they couldn’t check in, but then, after some research I found out they were last anyway and therefore eliminated.
Mark & Michael get finished singing and hop in a cab to the Pit Stop, and have to bargain with that driver for their lack of cash. He accepts a carabiner (which I find out is part of rock-climbing equipment. I would think that the show supplies that sort of thing when necessary ... why would they carry one of those? Unless they spend their time at the Pit Stops keeping their stuntmen skills sharp by scaling the overnight locations). They make it to the Mat before Kisha & Jen but are told by a very scowling Phil that they’ve really done it this time! and incurred TWO 2-hour penalties. "You broke a Race rule and used a personal possession to pay cab fare. Twice." Shame, shame!
I have to break in here though - I could swear that on other Races I’ve seen contestants offer shoes, jackets, and the like to get their cabbie paid off. I remember! It was our loveable nerds, Andrew & Dan, who kept running out of money and offering anything they could to their cabbie so they could go on their way. I guess the producers added the rule for this season (or they don’t like Mark & Michael, who are either being persecuted unfairly so they lose, or really need to sit down and read the rule book!)
As Mark & Michael sit and stew for their 4-hour penalty, Kisha & Jen show up and know they’re last to check in. Phil lets them know they managed fourth place, and they were so relieved they broke down in tears. Mark & Michael are allowed to crawl up to the Mat where Phil tells them it is a non-elimination leg, but in addition to the required Speed Bump on the next leg of the Race, the leftover 3-plus hours of their penalty will be added to their start time. Michael tried to explain everything by saying they used personal belongings rather than stiff their cabbie because "we are in the land of Buddha and didn’t want to create any bad karma." Phil showed no sympathy - in fact, I think that’s the grouchiest he ever looked! I’m wondering what Phil has against these little guys! His blog isn’t up yet, but I will be looking for it!
The order of finish:
1 - Margie & Luke
2 - Cara & Jamie
3 - Victor & Tammy
4 - Kisha & Jen
5 - Mark & Michael (non-eliminated with mucho penalties)
So are the "new" rules a surprise to you too? Are you feeling sorry for the little guys or figuring they deserve it? Can Margie & Luke actually win this thing, being nice while screwing other teams as much as possible? Stay tuned, folks!
Tammy & Victor, leaving first, are instructed to fly to Bangkok, Thailand. Once there, they have to taxi to a boatyard to find their next clue. Cara & Jamie, leaving second, decide they want an "official" taxi and ask another gentleman on the street if it was "official." When the gentleman goes to ask someone else, Jamie screams "Listen! Don’t talk to him!" She explains it by saying "the language barrier frustrates me and I just can’t do anything about it." Huh? She has no self-control? Or is she just an innate bitch?
All the teams end up on the same flight to Bangkok. They tell their taxi drivers to "go fast" and urge them to pass the cab ahead of them, but none of the cabbies know where they’re going. Margie & Luke are following Kisha & Jen’s taxi and when the drivers stopped to get directions, Margie instructed her driver to tell Kisha & Jen’s driver the wrong directions. While not nasty, Margie & Luke are definitely playing to win this Race. And just to look at them, you wouldn’t have figured them to get this far - a deaf guy and his mommy?
At the boatyard, the clue was a Roadblock. One team member was to attach a propeller to a boat to get their next clue. Cara & Jamie had caught up to Margie & Luke but Margie made very short work of the propeller-building and was done first. The clue told them to navigate the canals with a map to find their next clue. Luke told Margie to get their bags before they took off from the dock. I didn’t think much of that (seemed like a no-brainer to me) until the other teams caught up, told their cabs to wait, and concentrated on the propeller. Cara & Jamie ran back to the cab to get their backpacks, trying not to let the other teams know what their clue was. Mark & Michael get done and take off, leaving their belongings with their waiting taxi. I’m beginning to see trouble looming! Mark & Michael wrongly assume they’ll be bringing the boat back to the dock (why they figured this, I don’t know. Really. How many times do they begin in one place and go back to that place? Really!) Kisha & Jen take off without their bags OR their fanny pack (with their money and passports in it) and leave Kisha’s shoes on the dock as well. Now backpacks, with clothing, etc. I can see one could live without if one had to. But to leave your money and passports out in a foreign country and "hope" it will still be there when you get back....just plain dumb. Victor proves to be a lousy mechanic as his propeller doesn’t work the first time and he has to try again. By this time the other teams have all gone - and Tammy & Victor wisely go get their bags before they take off in their boat. As they putter down the canal in their boat, Jen frets about their fanny pack with their passports, but Kisha tells her they’ll be coming back and not to worry about it. Jen mentions that she’s "listening to big sister" but finds out being older doesn’t necessarily make one smarter. There is some conversation about going back for the bags with Mark & Michael, but they press forward also.
The next clue is a Detour - Broken Teeth or Broken Record. The official website is not up yet for me to copy it formally, so you’ll be stuck with the "unofficial" version: In Broken Teeth, the teams had to go to a hallway called "the aisle of smiles" to find people waiting in front of bowls of water with assorted dentures. The teams had to pick through the dentures and match 5 people with their correct teeth. For Broken Record, the teams would find a karaoke cab and ride along for five miles, singing with a group of lovely (?) women (?). A couple of those women had extra appendages, I’d bet, if ya know what I mean! Margie & Luke are the only team to opt for the denture fitting - Margie says "I’m a bad singer, he’s a really bad singer, so we’re going to spare the people of Bangkok." At least they get gloves, masks and safety glasses to wear while helping the people with their teeth. It was pretty icky, but pretty funny, and Luke was pathetic at trying to fit the dentures - he was sticking lower dentures in people who needed uppers. Margie, saying it wasn’t difficult to get into people’s "personal space" because she was a nurse, fit all five people and off they went to the Pit Stop.
Jen is still fretting about her passport "sitting on a dock somewhere" but they jump in the karaoke cab and sing along, having a great time. Jen cracked me up, though, talking about their ride: ''My first question was, are those transvestites? My next question was, why do they wear so much makeup? Third question was, why are we in a party taxi with three transvestites?'' In the meantime, Tammy & Victor catch up and decide "we’re Chinese, we have to do karaoke." Mark & Michael, after much arguing and debate, decide to go back to their cab at the boatyard for their backpacks before they attempt the Detour. Mark is berating Michael for wanting to go back for his backpack, saying a million dollars was much more worth it, while Michael kept mentioning "irreplaceable stuff" he didn’t want to leave behind. My thought here is the cost of the cab, sitting there with the meter running....and running....and the fare getting higher.
Kisha & Jen get done with their ride and have to find a cab driver to take them to the Pit Stop - but they have no money, so they have to hope they can sucker a taxi into taking them for free. Cara & Jamie are running around yelling at cabbies to find one who knows where the Pit Stop is - a palace (which to me would be something a cabbie should know about, no?) Tammy & Victor mention that they’re happy to see Cara & Jamie, considering the redheads were out of the boatyard way ahead, but they’ve caught up. Mark & Michael get back to their original cab, pay the man and get their stuff, noticing that there was another cab waiting. Feeling a little better that at least one other team would have to go back, they took off for the Detour to attempt the karaoke.
Tammy & Victor’s cab has to stop for directions to the Pit Stop, and Cara & Jamie’s cabbie (who was following Tammy & Victor) has to ask as well. Jamie continued screeching at her cab driver, telling him not to tell Tammy & Victor’s driver the directions. As Mark & Michael get back to the Detour, they were $185 short (Thai money, don’t know what it’s called) and bartered a flashlight and compass to make up for it. They figured they’d also have to negotiate the cab fare to the Pit Stop. They jump in the karaoke cab with their transvestites, although it seemed that they didn’t know the girls weren’t girls, saying that "we’re part of the entertainment business, so we know how to show these girls a good time." Oh, yeah. They’d show you a thing or two, guys! And not a thing you’d want to see!!!
Margie & Luke have already checked in first to the Pit Stop. Cara & Jamie get there second, and Kisha & Jen outrun Tammy & Victor to get to the Mat third. However, Phil tells them they cannot check in without their travel documents, because without their passports, they couldn’t leave Thailand and they’d have to go back for their documents before they could be checked in. (It would be helpful for Kisha to have her shoes as well). That gave Tammy & Victor third place.
I remember Dallas & Toni, the mom & son from last season, checking in at the Mat without their passports (after their belongings drove off in a cab in Russia). Phil didn’t tell them they couldn’t check in, but then, after some research I found out they were last anyway and therefore eliminated.
Mark & Michael get finished singing and hop in a cab to the Pit Stop, and have to bargain with that driver for their lack of cash. He accepts a carabiner (which I find out is part of rock-climbing equipment. I would think that the show supplies that sort of thing when necessary ... why would they carry one of those? Unless they spend their time at the Pit Stops keeping their stuntmen skills sharp by scaling the overnight locations). They make it to the Mat before Kisha & Jen but are told by a very scowling Phil that they’ve really done it this time! and incurred TWO 2-hour penalties. "You broke a Race rule and used a personal possession to pay cab fare. Twice." Shame, shame!
I have to break in here though - I could swear that on other Races I’ve seen contestants offer shoes, jackets, and the like to get their cabbie paid off. I remember! It was our loveable nerds, Andrew & Dan, who kept running out of money and offering anything they could to their cabbie so they could go on their way. I guess the producers added the rule for this season (or they don’t like Mark & Michael, who are either being persecuted unfairly so they lose, or really need to sit down and read the rule book!)
As Mark & Michael sit and stew for their 4-hour penalty, Kisha & Jen show up and know they’re last to check in. Phil lets them know they managed fourth place, and they were so relieved they broke down in tears. Mark & Michael are allowed to crawl up to the Mat where Phil tells them it is a non-elimination leg, but in addition to the required Speed Bump on the next leg of the Race, the leftover 3-plus hours of their penalty will be added to their start time. Michael tried to explain everything by saying they used personal belongings rather than stiff their cabbie because "we are in the land of Buddha and didn’t want to create any bad karma." Phil showed no sympathy - in fact, I think that’s the grouchiest he ever looked! I’m wondering what Phil has against these little guys! His blog isn’t up yet, but I will be looking for it!
The order of finish:
1 - Margie & Luke
2 - Cara & Jamie
3 - Victor & Tammy
4 - Kisha & Jen
5 - Mark & Michael (non-eliminated with mucho penalties)
So are the "new" rules a surprise to you too? Are you feeling sorry for the little guys or figuring they deserve it? Can Margie & Luke actually win this thing, being nice while screwing other teams as much as possible? Stay tuned, folks!
Monday, March 30, 2009
Gorilla!! Tiger!! And Down She Goes!
Mel & Mike was probably one of the most-liked teams this season - by viewers and other teams, too - but they went down in flames because they trusted their cab driver to know where a giant gorilla was. Unfortunately, they couldn’t make up the time and ended up eliminated.
Our teams find out they are flying to Phuket, Thailand and the only clue as to their destination is a photo of a giant gorilla statue. This should be interesting! They are going to have to find someone in Thailand who can tell them where the gorilla is. I can just see Cara & Jamie running around trying to speak English to people who don’t speak English and getting ticked because they don’t speak English in Thailand! In their interview at the beginning of the show they admit that they don’t have the most patience and the language barrier is a major part of that impatience. I think it comes off more as bitchiness, actually, and these two are really starting to bug me. They really give the "ugly American" idea some credence. Then you turn around and see Kisha & Jen feeling so bad for the starving kids as they leave India that they give some kids money.
All the teams get on the same flight and land together in Phuket. Mark & Michael get moving first while Mel & Mike can’t get a taxi and end up leaving the airport in last place. The taxi they finally do get ends up being their downfall, because the taxi driver told them the gorilla was at Patong Beach. All the other teams end up stopping in the same part of the city to ask locals if they know where the statue is, showing the photo and yelling, "Gorilla? Gorilla?" Finding out it was the Phuket Zoo, the teams took off in their cabs as Mel & Mike passed them in their cab. Mike noticed the other teams going in the opposite direction, and realizes that one way is wrong: "We’re either going to get behind or get ahead." (What else can they get? Oh, a Thai massage, like Mel suggested they do if they end up totally lost and out of the Race).
The teams at the Zoo start racing around looking for the giant gorilla. Cara & Jamie are the first team there and although they try and sneak the clue away from the location, Mark & Michael see them and find the gorilla as well. The clue told the teams they had to "first take a picture with Esso the tiger. Then, they had to take part in a typical Thai performance, in which they had to lie on the ground while elephants stepped and squatted over them." (Oh yeah, just wait for the squatting!) They would then have to go back to the Tiger and get their developed photo along with their next clue. Mark & Michael go dashing off, yelling "Tiger? Tiger?" to anyone who would listen for help finding the tiger. When they got there, they see that the tiger handler has only one arm and are understandably nervous, but I’m jealous of the photos with the tiger. It must have been neat (once they got over the paranoia!) Kisha & Jen laughed that "If the tiger didn’t eat Mark & Michael, he won’t eat us," saying that the stunt brothers are "bite-sized." The teams raced off to find the elephants. They ended up lying on a mat on the ground on their stomachs while an elephant put his foot on their butts, walked over them, and then squatted over the person on the ground, looking like a) they were about to drown in elephant pee; b) they would be buried by elephant poo; or c) they would wish they were in prison, because Bubba wouldn’t do half as much to them as the elephant would have!!! I’m sorry, but simply walking over them and patting them on the butt was all I wanted to see the elephant do. It really was kinda - weird.
Mel & Mike, meanwhile, are wandering around the beach looking for the giant gorilla. They show the photo to a local, who tells them to go to the Phuket Zoo, and Mel says, "no, that’s not right" and goes off to find someone else to help him. After he hears this a couple more times he decides that maybe they’re right after all, and they leave for the Zoo.
The clue from the Zoo told the teams to find an herb shop where there would be 99 drawers, six of which held their next clue. They were to "ask the shopkeeper to open one of the 99 herb drawers in search of a clue. If they chose incorrectly, teams would have to keep guessing until they found their next clue." On the way to the herb shop, Cara & Jamie let us know that their nickname for the stunt guys is "the Tweedles," as in Tweedledee and Tweedledum, because "they talk and talk, like animated cartoon guys." (My nickname for Cara & Jamie is "Obnoxious Redheads" because they’re snotty to everyone who doesn’t speak English. So there!) Cara & Jamie reach the herb shop first and have the guy open one drawer before Mark & Michael show up. The shopkeeper motions that they will take turns picking drawers. Cara & Jamie start getting frustrated with the shopkeeper "because I don’t really think he spoke a lick of English." (Imagine! What nerve!) Mark & Michael get their clue and dash off, frustrating Jamie even more. At this point, they’re being so snotty to the Thai non-English-speaking shopkeeper that I’m happy to watch Tammy & Victor, Kisha & Jen, and Margie & Luke get in and get their clue before the Redheads, who have taken to yelling at the shopkeeper (yes, girls, that will really help!)
By this time, Mel & Mike have found the gorilla and are working their way to trying to catch up, knowing they’re hopelessly behind. At the herb shop, as the shopkeeper opens each drawer and they see it has no clue, they laugh and say, "no-o-o-o!" and direct him to the next drawer. It was really fun to watch, and a total contrast to the Obnoxious Redheads. Hopefully it helped the shopkeeper’s view of Americans!
The next clue was a Detour: 100 Barrels or 2 Miles. "In 100 Barrels, teams had to travel to a nearby harbor and work to prepare a fishing shop for ten days at sea. They needed to fill 47 barrels with enough drinking water to last the trip, and they had to move 53 of the empty fish barrels from the bottom deck to the roof arranging them properly for the journey. In 2 Miles, teams had to travel to a nearby temple and choose a rickshaw. In the event of a flat tire, pumps were provided for the teams. Then, while one team member sat in back, the other pulled the rickshaw and found their way two miles through the streets of Phuket to King Rama IX Park."
Mark & Michael decide to go for the rickshaws and when they get there, they see the tire pumps laying there by the rickshaws and fill up their flat tire. Then Mark grabs up all the tire pumps and puts them in the box nearby, making it not as obvious and hoping to delay the other teams with flats. I thought it wasn’t a bad idea - but stay tuned.....
They take off in their rickshaw, they spot their cab and figure they have to pay him anyway, so why not follow him to the Park? I thought that wasn’t a bad idea either - until Tammy & Victor get there and their driver offers to lead them and they read the clue better, which says they cannot hire someone to guide them. They have their driver draw them a map and then tell him to meet them at the Park. They did take off without their air pump, as did all the other teams, but no one got a flat anyway.
Margie & Luke are trying to find the 100 Barrels when they bump into Cara & Jamie, who are also lost. Cara & Jamie’s driver knows where the 2 Miles location is and they decide to switch tasks. Kisha & Jen aren’t doing great finding the Barrels either but stick with it and eventually find the location. In the meantime, Mark & Michael are cruising along in their rickshaw, trading places when the running brother gets tired and following their cab driver to the Park. Mel & Mike get through the drawers and decide to do 100 Barrels also. Victor pulls the rickshaw all they way, which is admirable, but then complains that his sister (his little sister, who is younger and smaller) was heavy. (Smack him once for me, Tammy!) Luke takes off in the rickshaw and Margie realizes that she can’t communicate with Luke, who is running in front of her and tipping the rickshaw so far up she’s almost falling out the back. Margie takes over for a little bit and I can only imagine how she feels (if I could actually run for any distance) in that Thailand heat. Cara is pulling Jamie in the rickshaw and Jamie is screeching at the locals for directions and none of them speak English either, damn them! (Methinks even if they did, they wouldn’t want to talk to her). Kisha & Jen decide to start with loading the empty barrels onto the roof and are almost done as Mel & Mike show up. Kisha then notices the hose with running water and realizes she could have been filling barrels while handing the empty ones up to Jen, which is what Mike does as he hands the barrels two at a time up to his dad on the roof of the boat. Victor & Tammy get to the park and drop their rickshaw at the entrance to the path, only to notice a sign down the way that tells them where to drop their rickshaws and have to go back to get it. Mark & Michael have finished their trek in the rickshaw and get to the Pit Stop, where Phil tells them yes, they are the first team to arrive but! They’ve incurred two 30-minute penalties: one for hiding the pumps and one for paying their cabbie to lead them to the Park. They sit over to the side and sulk, hoping no one shows up.
The teams finish their tasks and all start heading to the Pit Stop. Margie looks horrible in the cab, sweating and saying she has the chills, adding "this is the hottest place I’ve ever been" and "My hands are numb. I feel like I’m gonna pass out." Kisha gets a sneezing fit in the cab and Jen blesses her for the first two, then tells her to "shut up" after the third. (She had some funny noises while sneezing, too). As Mark & Michael have about 4 minutes left in their penalty, Victor & Tammy show up and are told they are the first place team and win a trip to Hawaii. Cara & Jamie show up shortly thereafter, grabbing second, and Mark & Michael end up in third, disappointed but happy to be in the top half of the finish. Margie & Luke show up and Phil tells her "the bionic woman has done it!" As they celebrate their finish, Margie gets wobbly on her legs and pretty much passes out. Phil and the crew members rush to bring her a chair and some water while poor Luke freaks out. They get her out of the sun and fan her a bit and give her water. Someone asks Margie if she wants an ambulance, and she tells them no - she’s embarrassed now. I’d get over that pretty quick after ending up okay! Phil mentions in his blog that "it must have been especially scary for Luke, because otherwise no one could communicate with him."
Kisha & Jen’s taxi dropped them off at the wrong location and they had to scramble for a ride. It looked as if they were sunk when they managed to hitch a ride in a van with other people and managed to get to the Mat before Mel & Mike, who were eliminated. Phil asks Mel "what’s special about your son?" and Mike groans "keep it together, Dad." They really did bond well on the Race and were one of the most likeable teams I’ve ever seen on the show. Too bad for them, really.
So! Now that the "good guys" are gone, who looks like they’ll make it? Will Jamie be murdered as she screams at more locals or will she actually find someone who speaks English and be happy? Will the stunt guys manage not to screw something up on the next leg? Stay tuned!
Our teams find out they are flying to Phuket, Thailand and the only clue as to their destination is a photo of a giant gorilla statue. This should be interesting! They are going to have to find someone in Thailand who can tell them where the gorilla is. I can just see Cara & Jamie running around trying to speak English to people who don’t speak English and getting ticked because they don’t speak English in Thailand! In their interview at the beginning of the show they admit that they don’t have the most patience and the language barrier is a major part of that impatience. I think it comes off more as bitchiness, actually, and these two are really starting to bug me. They really give the "ugly American" idea some credence. Then you turn around and see Kisha & Jen feeling so bad for the starving kids as they leave India that they give some kids money.
All the teams get on the same flight and land together in Phuket. Mark & Michael get moving first while Mel & Mike can’t get a taxi and end up leaving the airport in last place. The taxi they finally do get ends up being their downfall, because the taxi driver told them the gorilla was at Patong Beach. All the other teams end up stopping in the same part of the city to ask locals if they know where the statue is, showing the photo and yelling, "Gorilla? Gorilla?" Finding out it was the Phuket Zoo, the teams took off in their cabs as Mel & Mike passed them in their cab. Mike noticed the other teams going in the opposite direction, and realizes that one way is wrong: "We’re either going to get behind or get ahead." (What else can they get? Oh, a Thai massage, like Mel suggested they do if they end up totally lost and out of the Race).
The teams at the Zoo start racing around looking for the giant gorilla. Cara & Jamie are the first team there and although they try and sneak the clue away from the location, Mark & Michael see them and find the gorilla as well. The clue told the teams they had to "first take a picture with Esso the tiger. Then, they had to take part in a typical Thai performance, in which they had to lie on the ground while elephants stepped and squatted over them." (Oh yeah, just wait for the squatting!) They would then have to go back to the Tiger and get their developed photo along with their next clue. Mark & Michael go dashing off, yelling "Tiger? Tiger?" to anyone who would listen for help finding the tiger. When they got there, they see that the tiger handler has only one arm and are understandably nervous, but I’m jealous of the photos with the tiger. It must have been neat (once they got over the paranoia!) Kisha & Jen laughed that "If the tiger didn’t eat Mark & Michael, he won’t eat us," saying that the stunt brothers are "bite-sized." The teams raced off to find the elephants. They ended up lying on a mat on the ground on their stomachs while an elephant put his foot on their butts, walked over them, and then squatted over the person on the ground, looking like a) they were about to drown in elephant pee; b) they would be buried by elephant poo; or c) they would wish they were in prison, because Bubba wouldn’t do half as much to them as the elephant would have!!! I’m sorry, but simply walking over them and patting them on the butt was all I wanted to see the elephant do. It really was kinda - weird.
Mel & Mike, meanwhile, are wandering around the beach looking for the giant gorilla. They show the photo to a local, who tells them to go to the Phuket Zoo, and Mel says, "no, that’s not right" and goes off to find someone else to help him. After he hears this a couple more times he decides that maybe they’re right after all, and they leave for the Zoo.
The clue from the Zoo told the teams to find an herb shop where there would be 99 drawers, six of which held their next clue. They were to "ask the shopkeeper to open one of the 99 herb drawers in search of a clue. If they chose incorrectly, teams would have to keep guessing until they found their next clue." On the way to the herb shop, Cara & Jamie let us know that their nickname for the stunt guys is "the Tweedles," as in Tweedledee and Tweedledum, because "they talk and talk, like animated cartoon guys." (My nickname for Cara & Jamie is "Obnoxious Redheads" because they’re snotty to everyone who doesn’t speak English. So there!) Cara & Jamie reach the herb shop first and have the guy open one drawer before Mark & Michael show up. The shopkeeper motions that they will take turns picking drawers. Cara & Jamie start getting frustrated with the shopkeeper "because I don’t really think he spoke a lick of English." (Imagine! What nerve!) Mark & Michael get their clue and dash off, frustrating Jamie even more. At this point, they’re being so snotty to the Thai non-English-speaking shopkeeper that I’m happy to watch Tammy & Victor, Kisha & Jen, and Margie & Luke get in and get their clue before the Redheads, who have taken to yelling at the shopkeeper (yes, girls, that will really help!)
By this time, Mel & Mike have found the gorilla and are working their way to trying to catch up, knowing they’re hopelessly behind. At the herb shop, as the shopkeeper opens each drawer and they see it has no clue, they laugh and say, "no-o-o-o!" and direct him to the next drawer. It was really fun to watch, and a total contrast to the Obnoxious Redheads. Hopefully it helped the shopkeeper’s view of Americans!
The next clue was a Detour: 100 Barrels or 2 Miles. "In 100 Barrels, teams had to travel to a nearby harbor and work to prepare a fishing shop for ten days at sea. They needed to fill 47 barrels with enough drinking water to last the trip, and they had to move 53 of the empty fish barrels from the bottom deck to the roof arranging them properly for the journey. In 2 Miles, teams had to travel to a nearby temple and choose a rickshaw. In the event of a flat tire, pumps were provided for the teams. Then, while one team member sat in back, the other pulled the rickshaw and found their way two miles through the streets of Phuket to King Rama IX Park."
Mark & Michael decide to go for the rickshaws and when they get there, they see the tire pumps laying there by the rickshaws and fill up their flat tire. Then Mark grabs up all the tire pumps and puts them in the box nearby, making it not as obvious and hoping to delay the other teams with flats. I thought it wasn’t a bad idea - but stay tuned.....
They take off in their rickshaw, they spot their cab and figure they have to pay him anyway, so why not follow him to the Park? I thought that wasn’t a bad idea either - until Tammy & Victor get there and their driver offers to lead them and they read the clue better, which says they cannot hire someone to guide them. They have their driver draw them a map and then tell him to meet them at the Park. They did take off without their air pump, as did all the other teams, but no one got a flat anyway.
Margie & Luke are trying to find the 100 Barrels when they bump into Cara & Jamie, who are also lost. Cara & Jamie’s driver knows where the 2 Miles location is and they decide to switch tasks. Kisha & Jen aren’t doing great finding the Barrels either but stick with it and eventually find the location. In the meantime, Mark & Michael are cruising along in their rickshaw, trading places when the running brother gets tired and following their cab driver to the Park. Mel & Mike get through the drawers and decide to do 100 Barrels also. Victor pulls the rickshaw all they way, which is admirable, but then complains that his sister (his little sister, who is younger and smaller) was heavy. (Smack him once for me, Tammy!) Luke takes off in the rickshaw and Margie realizes that she can’t communicate with Luke, who is running in front of her and tipping the rickshaw so far up she’s almost falling out the back. Margie takes over for a little bit and I can only imagine how she feels (if I could actually run for any distance) in that Thailand heat. Cara is pulling Jamie in the rickshaw and Jamie is screeching at the locals for directions and none of them speak English either, damn them! (Methinks even if they did, they wouldn’t want to talk to her). Kisha & Jen decide to start with loading the empty barrels onto the roof and are almost done as Mel & Mike show up. Kisha then notices the hose with running water and realizes she could have been filling barrels while handing the empty ones up to Jen, which is what Mike does as he hands the barrels two at a time up to his dad on the roof of the boat. Victor & Tammy get to the park and drop their rickshaw at the entrance to the path, only to notice a sign down the way that tells them where to drop their rickshaws and have to go back to get it. Mark & Michael have finished their trek in the rickshaw and get to the Pit Stop, where Phil tells them yes, they are the first team to arrive but! They’ve incurred two 30-minute penalties: one for hiding the pumps and one for paying their cabbie to lead them to the Park. They sit over to the side and sulk, hoping no one shows up.
The teams finish their tasks and all start heading to the Pit Stop. Margie looks horrible in the cab, sweating and saying she has the chills, adding "this is the hottest place I’ve ever been" and "My hands are numb. I feel like I’m gonna pass out." Kisha gets a sneezing fit in the cab and Jen blesses her for the first two, then tells her to "shut up" after the third. (She had some funny noises while sneezing, too). As Mark & Michael have about 4 minutes left in their penalty, Victor & Tammy show up and are told they are the first place team and win a trip to Hawaii. Cara & Jamie show up shortly thereafter, grabbing second, and Mark & Michael end up in third, disappointed but happy to be in the top half of the finish. Margie & Luke show up and Phil tells her "the bionic woman has done it!" As they celebrate their finish, Margie gets wobbly on her legs and pretty much passes out. Phil and the crew members rush to bring her a chair and some water while poor Luke freaks out. They get her out of the sun and fan her a bit and give her water. Someone asks Margie if she wants an ambulance, and she tells them no - she’s embarrassed now. I’d get over that pretty quick after ending up okay! Phil mentions in his blog that "it must have been especially scary for Luke, because otherwise no one could communicate with him."
Kisha & Jen’s taxi dropped them off at the wrong location and they had to scramble for a ride. It looked as if they were sunk when they managed to hitch a ride in a van with other people and managed to get to the Mat before Mel & Mike, who were eliminated. Phil asks Mel "what’s special about your son?" and Mike groans "keep it together, Dad." They really did bond well on the Race and were one of the most likeable teams I’ve ever seen on the show. Too bad for them, really.
So! Now that the "good guys" are gone, who looks like they’ll make it? Will Jamie be murdered as she screams at more locals or will she actually find someone who speaks English and be happy? Will the stunt guys manage not to screw something up on the next leg? Stay tuned!
Monday, March 23, 2009
Camels and ... Nose Flutes??!
The Blondies Christie & Jodi had hope they could overcome their Speed Bump and they did an admirable job, but they couldn’t get over the slow taxi in the horrible traffic of India, and off they go. They were a very nice example of how to run a Race nicely, but proved that "nice girls finish last" - at least for this leg of the Race.
Leaving the Pit Stop, the teams were told to fly to India through Moscow to Jaipur, then taxi to find the Peepli Ka Pedh, or sacred tree, for their next clue. At the airport the teams discussed flights, but realized they would all be on the same flight to Jaipur. Mel & Mike noticed the airline sign and Mel said "Tell me, would you want to fly on an airline named Kacca?" (No, Mel, I wouldn’t!) Tammy & Victor got out of the airport first, followed by our Blondies (good start, ladies). After discussing their destination with their cab driver, Mel & Mike decided to find another cab who really knew where he was going, but the driver dashed off to find someone to give him directions. In the meantime, their bags were in the trunk and Mel & Mike were going nowhere until the driver came back. He did, with directions, but Mel was irritated that they were now leaving in last place. After urging the driver to catch up to the other teams, he said ''This race certainly isn't important enough to dehumanize somebody else by yelling and screaming at them, so I'm gonna feel bad about it for the rest of the day.'' (Let’s see, he doesn’t bother God for help in a reality race, he’s not yelling at cabbies ... what is this, "Let’s see how nice we can be on the Race?" There really are no nasty people this time out. Irritating know-it-all brothers, yes. Willing to U-Turn someone to get ahead, yes. Screamers - nope.) The good start of the Blondies got blown to bits when their cab had to stop for gas. Jodi wanted to know if they had "a hurry button."
All the teams noted how crazy the cab drivers were - as well as the rest of the drivers. It seemed lane markers were just a suggestion! Mark & Michael enjoyed the ride of their "insane" driver and everyone noticed the monkeys jumping from trees to buildings. The teams ended up driving through the slums of the city (no "Slum Dog Millionaire" references here, I never saw the movie). The conditions of the city and seeing children eating garbage and dogs, goats and cows roaming all over made some of the racers upset. Luke told Margie that he felt so bad for the kids, eating garbage and running around naked, crying at the sights. Jaime looked upset and crying as well, but then ends up on the opposite end of the spectrum when she yells at people for "not having the decency to speak English."
At the tree, two red phones sat near a group of "mystics" with instructions to call one of four numbers for instructions. Neither Tammy nor Victor could understand the voice, so they called Babu, their cab driver, to listen and got right out of there. They ended up passing the other teams going to the tree and grinned that they were in first place.
As the other teams came up to the tree, they pestered the mystics asking if they had a clue for them. They wandered in the area, looking for a clue box, moving rocks and branches. Mel asked "Why would mystic men sitting under a tree have a red phone?" but then kept looking. (DUH moment of the Race, so far!) Kisha & Jen noticed the phone and jumped on it, getting the clue and running back to their cab. Kisha asked her cabbie and said, ''Do you know 'A mad football?'' The cab driver looked at her and said ''Amber Fort? I understand.'' How on EARTH did he figure that out?
At the Amber Fort, the clue was a Roadblock. "In it, one team member had to choose a group of camels and, using a set of traditional tools, load and carry enough food and water to satisfy each of the camels in their group. Once the pile of food reached the designated line and the water spilled through a hole the trough, teams would receive their next clue." Victor grabbed the metal bucket that was to be used for the water to carry the camel feed, but then noticed the baskets and rakes nearby and got the feed stacked before the other teams showed up. They didn’t know what the task was before they volunteered, and Mel ended up doing this rather physical challenge, along with Jaime, Margie, Kisha and Mark. They saw Victor hauling water and everyone grabbed a bucket and followed suit. Mel’s son Mike fretted on the sideline, watching his dad go back and forth, saying "this isn’t a challenge for a 68-year-old." Mel was panting every step of the way. Mike said, "I can’t even watch any more. I know we’ll be here a half-hour after everyone else has gone." Well, Mr. Poopypants, your daddy was pretty smart! He actually read the clue and remembered that it said "use traditional native tools" and saw the huge baskets and rakes for use with the feed, while everyone else used their water buckets. The old man ended up beating all those 20-somethings and Mel & Mike took off to find the next clue. Christie & Jodi, getting there in last place, ended up getting ahead of the stunt guys Mark & Mike, giving themselves hope they could move up a little more. Jaime had to try and get the camel feed out of her shirt, saying "I used my boobies to transport the hay." I’m surprised Kisha didn’t have the same comment, because she stuffed her shirt with the feed and used the bucket to keep it in.
The clue had the teams cabbing it to a puppet store to the next clue box. It was a Detour: Movers or Shakers. "In Movers, teams had to travel to the Sanganeri Gate, where they needed to choose a cycle rickshaw loaded high with barrels. Then, they had to transport the barrels by pedaling one and a half miles through the congested streets of Jaipur to Zorawar Singh Gate, and search through their containers for a small metal elephant that they could exchange for their next clue. In Shakers, teams had to travel to a nearby busy intersection, put on traditional costumes and makeup, and join a Rajasthani dance troupe. Then, they had to go out in the streets and shake their hips for tips. After earning 100 rupees, they would receive their next clue." All the teams except Mark & Mike decide to be Shakers. As the teams got their makeup and costumes on, and Mark & Mike bicycled to their destination, Christie & Jodi got their Speed Bump, where they had to go and paint an elephant’s face for a festival. Watching Mark & Mike having trouble finding the little elephant in all that hay made me think they may actually have a shot at getting there ahead of at least one other team. All the "Shakers" seemed to have fun gathering rupees (although some of the dancing wasn’t even worth a half-rupee, if you ask me!) Luke had to watch Margie dance to get the rhythm, not being able to hear the music - and Margie was fun to watch, considering she had lipstick all over her teeth and is lucky the locals didn’t run screaming from her instead.
As Jaime & Cara finished their dance and turned in their money, they looked for their cab driver who had seemingly disappeared. Jaime started screaming to anyone who would listen, saying "he left with our bags! Did he steal our bags? Where did he go? Sightseeing? For a cup of coffee?" It was interesting that when Margie & Luke stopped to find out what was going on, and Jaime screamed to them, Luke told his mom "Let’s go." I guess she was yelling enough to give a deaf guy a headache. It turned out that they arrived at the Pit Stop with Kisha & Jen and Margie & Luke and lost to both teams in a foot race.
Arriving at the Mat, a gentleman was standing with Phil with two small flutes, and playing them with his nose. At least he didn’t have a cold, for chrissakes! How gross is that and why on earth do Indians play flutes with their noses???! Ewwww!
So, the teams ended up this way:
1 - Tammy & Victor
2 - Mel & Mike
3 - Kisha & Jen
4 - Margie & Luke
5 - Cara & Jaime
6 - Mark & Michael
7 - Christie & Jodi (eliminated)
So, folks, do you think Jaime will end up with a meltdown somewhere? On which leg do you think Mel will finally have a coronary? Is Victor’s happy-go-lucky attitude irritating you yet? And are you going to scour the Yellow Pages for someone to teach you to play the flute with your nose? Let’s talk!
Leaving the Pit Stop, the teams were told to fly to India through Moscow to Jaipur, then taxi to find the Peepli Ka Pedh, or sacred tree, for their next clue. At the airport the teams discussed flights, but realized they would all be on the same flight to Jaipur. Mel & Mike noticed the airline sign and Mel said "Tell me, would you want to fly on an airline named Kacca?" (No, Mel, I wouldn’t!) Tammy & Victor got out of the airport first, followed by our Blondies (good start, ladies). After discussing their destination with their cab driver, Mel & Mike decided to find another cab who really knew where he was going, but the driver dashed off to find someone to give him directions. In the meantime, their bags were in the trunk and Mel & Mike were going nowhere until the driver came back. He did, with directions, but Mel was irritated that they were now leaving in last place. After urging the driver to catch up to the other teams, he said ''This race certainly isn't important enough to dehumanize somebody else by yelling and screaming at them, so I'm gonna feel bad about it for the rest of the day.'' (Let’s see, he doesn’t bother God for help in a reality race, he’s not yelling at cabbies ... what is this, "Let’s see how nice we can be on the Race?" There really are no nasty people this time out. Irritating know-it-all brothers, yes. Willing to U-Turn someone to get ahead, yes. Screamers - nope.) The good start of the Blondies got blown to bits when their cab had to stop for gas. Jodi wanted to know if they had "a hurry button."
All the teams noted how crazy the cab drivers were - as well as the rest of the drivers. It seemed lane markers were just a suggestion! Mark & Michael enjoyed the ride of their "insane" driver and everyone noticed the monkeys jumping from trees to buildings. The teams ended up driving through the slums of the city (no "Slum Dog Millionaire" references here, I never saw the movie). The conditions of the city and seeing children eating garbage and dogs, goats and cows roaming all over made some of the racers upset. Luke told Margie that he felt so bad for the kids, eating garbage and running around naked, crying at the sights. Jaime looked upset and crying as well, but then ends up on the opposite end of the spectrum when she yells at people for "not having the decency to speak English."
At the tree, two red phones sat near a group of "mystics" with instructions to call one of four numbers for instructions. Neither Tammy nor Victor could understand the voice, so they called Babu, their cab driver, to listen and got right out of there. They ended up passing the other teams going to the tree and grinned that they were in first place.
As the other teams came up to the tree, they pestered the mystics asking if they had a clue for them. They wandered in the area, looking for a clue box, moving rocks and branches. Mel asked "Why would mystic men sitting under a tree have a red phone?" but then kept looking. (DUH moment of the Race, so far!) Kisha & Jen noticed the phone and jumped on it, getting the clue and running back to their cab. Kisha asked her cabbie and said, ''Do you know 'A mad football?'' The cab driver looked at her and said ''Amber Fort? I understand.'' How on EARTH did he figure that out?
At the Amber Fort, the clue was a Roadblock. "In it, one team member had to choose a group of camels and, using a set of traditional tools, load and carry enough food and water to satisfy each of the camels in their group. Once the pile of food reached the designated line and the water spilled through a hole the trough, teams would receive their next clue." Victor grabbed the metal bucket that was to be used for the water to carry the camel feed, but then noticed the baskets and rakes nearby and got the feed stacked before the other teams showed up. They didn’t know what the task was before they volunteered, and Mel ended up doing this rather physical challenge, along with Jaime, Margie, Kisha and Mark. They saw Victor hauling water and everyone grabbed a bucket and followed suit. Mel’s son Mike fretted on the sideline, watching his dad go back and forth, saying "this isn’t a challenge for a 68-year-old." Mel was panting every step of the way. Mike said, "I can’t even watch any more. I know we’ll be here a half-hour after everyone else has gone." Well, Mr. Poopypants, your daddy was pretty smart! He actually read the clue and remembered that it said "use traditional native tools" and saw the huge baskets and rakes for use with the feed, while everyone else used their water buckets. The old man ended up beating all those 20-somethings and Mel & Mike took off to find the next clue. Christie & Jodi, getting there in last place, ended up getting ahead of the stunt guys Mark & Mike, giving themselves hope they could move up a little more. Jaime had to try and get the camel feed out of her shirt, saying "I used my boobies to transport the hay." I’m surprised Kisha didn’t have the same comment, because she stuffed her shirt with the feed and used the bucket to keep it in.
The clue had the teams cabbing it to a puppet store to the next clue box. It was a Detour: Movers or Shakers. "In Movers, teams had to travel to the Sanganeri Gate, where they needed to choose a cycle rickshaw loaded high with barrels. Then, they had to transport the barrels by pedaling one and a half miles through the congested streets of Jaipur to Zorawar Singh Gate, and search through their containers for a small metal elephant that they could exchange for their next clue. In Shakers, teams had to travel to a nearby busy intersection, put on traditional costumes and makeup, and join a Rajasthani dance troupe. Then, they had to go out in the streets and shake their hips for tips. After earning 100 rupees, they would receive their next clue." All the teams except Mark & Mike decide to be Shakers. As the teams got their makeup and costumes on, and Mark & Mike bicycled to their destination, Christie & Jodi got their Speed Bump, where they had to go and paint an elephant’s face for a festival. Watching Mark & Mike having trouble finding the little elephant in all that hay made me think they may actually have a shot at getting there ahead of at least one other team. All the "Shakers" seemed to have fun gathering rupees (although some of the dancing wasn’t even worth a half-rupee, if you ask me!) Luke had to watch Margie dance to get the rhythm, not being able to hear the music - and Margie was fun to watch, considering she had lipstick all over her teeth and is lucky the locals didn’t run screaming from her instead.
As Jaime & Cara finished their dance and turned in their money, they looked for their cab driver who had seemingly disappeared. Jaime started screaming to anyone who would listen, saying "he left with our bags! Did he steal our bags? Where did he go? Sightseeing? For a cup of coffee?" It was interesting that when Margie & Luke stopped to find out what was going on, and Jaime screamed to them, Luke told his mom "Let’s go." I guess she was yelling enough to give a deaf guy a headache. It turned out that they arrived at the Pit Stop with Kisha & Jen and Margie & Luke and lost to both teams in a foot race.
Arriving at the Mat, a gentleman was standing with Phil with two small flutes, and playing them with his nose. At least he didn’t have a cold, for chrissakes! How gross is that and why on earth do Indians play flutes with their noses???! Ewwww!
So, the teams ended up this way:
1 - Tammy & Victor
2 - Mel & Mike
3 - Kisha & Jen
4 - Margie & Luke
5 - Cara & Jaime
6 - Mark & Michael
7 - Christie & Jodi (eliminated)
So, folks, do you think Jaime will end up with a meltdown somewhere? On which leg do you think Mel will finally have a coronary? Is Victor’s happy-go-lucky attitude irritating you yet? And are you going to scour the Yellow Pages for someone to teach you to play the flute with your nose? Let’s talk!
Monday, March 16, 2009
Damn but it's cold! (Forgot my thermal underwear!)
Okay folks, better late than never … I had to scoot out of town last week Monday because my daughter in NY had baby Hayley Jane a bit earlier than expected. Mom & Baby are doing very well but of course, I’ve been busy playing Grandma.
The teams left the Pit Stop with directions to take the Trans-Siberian railroad to the city of Novosibirsk and race to the Puknte Technicheskovo Kontrolya for their clue. The Blondies Christie & Jodi were hoping to go somewhere warmer, but Christie didn’t have much hope, saying “any city with that many consonants in it isn’t warm.” Kisha & Jen left shortly after and thought about catching up to the Blondes but wondered “How do we know they’re going the right way?” They did end up walking together to the train station, complaining about the cold all the way. The one and only train to Novosibirsk left at 10:26 PM, meaning all the teams caught up at the train station. Mike mentioned that “the first will be last and the last will be first” prompting his preacher father Mel to say “he’s quoting the Bible! Praise the Lord!”
Everyone was happy that they got sleeper berths on the train – although Kisha did note that her feet hung off the end of the bed and they were bunk-style. “I better not sit up fast in the middle of the night or it’s all over” because there wasn’t much head room. Mike was telling Margie & Luke that he didn’t sleep well and Luke made motions as if he were crying. Mike told him “you’re going to create a whole new archetype, the sinister deaf kid.” He also remembered that they U-Turned the fast Amanda & Kris and said “I’ll just walk around limping so you don’t U-Turn us.” (Of course, it was never clarified whether Luke was being sarcastic or whether Mike just took it that way …. Although I’d go with sarcastic. Luke has a mean streak in there!)
Kisha & Jen were the first off the train but headed off in the opposite direction from the other teams and ended up being the last to grab a taxi. Cara & Jamie again teamed up with Margie & Luke and got to the clue box first, finding a Detour – Russian Bride or Russian Snowplow. “In Russian Bride, teams had to drive a car with four-speed manual transmission, known as a Lada, to a large Soviet-era apartment complex and search for one of the waiting brides. Once found, teams drive the bride across town to a church where her groom awaited. When the photographer snapped their wedding picture, the groom would hand teams their next clue. In Russian Snowplow, teams drove a Lada downtown to Stadium Spartak where they would each take a turn operating a cumbersome snowplow through a training course.”
Cara & Jamie and Margie & Luke decided to operate the snowplows when Tammy & Victor pulled up and asked which one they were doing. They all decided to stick together and find the location until a stop at a gas station for directions. Victor asked a cab driver and got directions while the Redheads asked the gas station attendant, who wasn’t very helpful – and deciding not to wait, Tammy & Victor took off. To their credit, Tammy said “we don’t have any alliances with other teams, but when we can work together we try to.” (And then say "screw you" and take off!) Margie & Luke see them take off and follow after them, hoping the Redheads were able to catch up. Tammy & Victor had to stop once again for directions and Margie & Luke caught up, but when Victor saw a local giving Margie directions to go straight, he called Tammy back to the car and they took off ahead again. The light dawned on Margie & Luke that they couldn’t really be trusted, and Luke said “Game on.” It turned out to be bad for Tammy & Victor because they got caught in traffic and ended up in a lane that wasn’t moving, allowing Cara & Jamie and Margie & Luke to beat them to the snowplows. The bad luck didn’t hold out though, because while the other teams were going to the wrong snowplows, Victor grabbed a correct one and got moving first. The team member not driving was told to hold a tiny paddle and direct the driver. (I wouldn’t have gotten in front of this massive machine coming at me, that’s for sure! Talk about trust!) Luke was gesturing wildly to Margie to get her to stay on the course and turn (not like those things turned very quickly either).
In the meantime, Mel & Mike and Christie & Jodi decided to look for brides. Christie & Jodi had problems finding the bride building so the Blondies asked directions of some locals and ended up with a bunch of drunken men who wanted to give them more than directions. The girls complained that “they smelled of vodka and had bad teeth.” Christie said that “one of them touched my butt and asked my name.” (Again, look at the Russian women. Why should she be surprised?) They ended up paying a cab driver to follow him and went to the wrong church. Their bride had no gloves or hat and just a small poncho-like coat over her gown, and the poor girl looked frozen by the time they got back in the car to find the right church. Christie mentioned that they would make lousy wedding planners, and that their bride was “freezing her ass off.” All of the brides driven by the teams looked a bit scared of their drivers (everyone had problems finding the church).
Mark & Michael, the stuntbrothers, decided that looking for brides was “too complicated, I don’t need to go looking for another bride” and opted for the machinery, blasting through the task with no problems. Kisha & Jen were getting farther behind because although they found their bride quickly, Jen had major problems driving the four-speed and kept stalling the car in intersections.
As everyone got done and got their next clue, it was hysterical to hear them try and pronounce it. I will not even try to spell it myself, this is copied from the CBS website: “they needed to drive to Gosudarstvennaya Publichnaya Nauchnaya Tekhnicheskaya Biblioteka, the largest library in Siberia.” (I’ll keep good ol’ USA style – “Public Library”).
Once at the library clue box, they found a Roadblock. “One team member had to partner with two local runners, and first warm up for a mandatory ten-minute period. Then, they had to participate in a winter run the way only the bravest locals do—in their underwear. With their Siberian partners, they had to run approximately 1.4 miles to the Novosibirsk Ballet and Opera Theater where their teammate who traveled there separately would be waiting for them. The reunited team would then go into the theater to find the Pit Stop for this leg of the race.” (The producers better have some really airtight papers for these people to sign – first bungee jumping off a dam, and now they have to run over a mile in their underwear at about 27 degrees???!!!! No freaking way!!) Luke was in great shape and aside from his embarrassment of running in his underwear – he said “I didn’t look at anyone so they wouldn’t look at me” – he sailed through the run and met his Mom at the Opera Theater to end up in first place. Cara ran off ahead of Tammy, but the run and the cold got to her and she had to walk which allowed Tammy to get ahead and second place for her and Victor. Mike offered to do the task and wasn’t thrilled with running in his underwear, although Mel definitely wouldn’t have made it between his groin and – well, I wouldn’t want to see him in his underwear!!!! Mike was sorry he wore his boots - his feet must have been in pain at the end of the run. The Blondies were having trouble again finding their destination but decided that they would stay calm because “it’s counterproductive to yell at each other.” (There is a definite lack of teams yelling at each other this season. Tammy could have gotten going really well with Victor but was the nice little sister … she said she was “going to be mean” if she had to but I think she’s gonna stick to being a wuss.) Mark the stuntguy ran the course and bragged how his Russian runners had to keep up with him. He did run very impressively, then blew it when they entered the Theater and went wandering around looking for Phil. Phil snapped his fingers (no help) and then whistled at the guys who finally noticed where they were supposed to be. Jen & Kisha had no problem with the task but Jen said “I had to put on underwear to run.” Christie ran the course with a blur on her butt because of her thong underwear, and Jodi had to get some medical attention because she slammed her finger in the car door. (With all the lecherous drunks in Siberia, Christie is lucky she finished the race instead of being carted off to some hovel somewhere!) In the end, the physically fit sisters Jen & Kisha beat out the Blondies to the finish. Luckily for Christie & Jodi, Phil told them it was a non-elimination leg and they would have to deal with a speed bump during the next leg. Christie was happy that “I didn’t have to run naked for nothing.”
So here’s how they finished:
1- Margie & Luke
2- Tammy & Victor
3- Cara & Jaime
4- Mel & Mike
5- Mark & Michael
6- Kisha & Jen
7- Christie & Jodi – not eliminated!
So! Will the Blondes be able to make up the time or are they goners? Can everyone stay happy and cooperative with each other or will Victor give Tammy a reason to kick his ass?
The teams left the Pit Stop with directions to take the Trans-Siberian railroad to the city of Novosibirsk and race to the Puknte Technicheskovo Kontrolya for their clue. The Blondies Christie & Jodi were hoping to go somewhere warmer, but Christie didn’t have much hope, saying “any city with that many consonants in it isn’t warm.” Kisha & Jen left shortly after and thought about catching up to the Blondes but wondered “How do we know they’re going the right way?” They did end up walking together to the train station, complaining about the cold all the way. The one and only train to Novosibirsk left at 10:26 PM, meaning all the teams caught up at the train station. Mike mentioned that “the first will be last and the last will be first” prompting his preacher father Mel to say “he’s quoting the Bible! Praise the Lord!”
Everyone was happy that they got sleeper berths on the train – although Kisha did note that her feet hung off the end of the bed and they were bunk-style. “I better not sit up fast in the middle of the night or it’s all over” because there wasn’t much head room. Mike was telling Margie & Luke that he didn’t sleep well and Luke made motions as if he were crying. Mike told him “you’re going to create a whole new archetype, the sinister deaf kid.” He also remembered that they U-Turned the fast Amanda & Kris and said “I’ll just walk around limping so you don’t U-Turn us.” (Of course, it was never clarified whether Luke was being sarcastic or whether Mike just took it that way …. Although I’d go with sarcastic. Luke has a mean streak in there!)
Kisha & Jen were the first off the train but headed off in the opposite direction from the other teams and ended up being the last to grab a taxi. Cara & Jamie again teamed up with Margie & Luke and got to the clue box first, finding a Detour – Russian Bride or Russian Snowplow. “In Russian Bride, teams had to drive a car with four-speed manual transmission, known as a Lada, to a large Soviet-era apartment complex and search for one of the waiting brides. Once found, teams drive the bride across town to a church where her groom awaited. When the photographer snapped their wedding picture, the groom would hand teams their next clue. In Russian Snowplow, teams drove a Lada downtown to Stadium Spartak where they would each take a turn operating a cumbersome snowplow through a training course.”
Cara & Jamie and Margie & Luke decided to operate the snowplows when Tammy & Victor pulled up and asked which one they were doing. They all decided to stick together and find the location until a stop at a gas station for directions. Victor asked a cab driver and got directions while the Redheads asked the gas station attendant, who wasn’t very helpful – and deciding not to wait, Tammy & Victor took off. To their credit, Tammy said “we don’t have any alliances with other teams, but when we can work together we try to.” (And then say "screw you" and take off!) Margie & Luke see them take off and follow after them, hoping the Redheads were able to catch up. Tammy & Victor had to stop once again for directions and Margie & Luke caught up, but when Victor saw a local giving Margie directions to go straight, he called Tammy back to the car and they took off ahead again. The light dawned on Margie & Luke that they couldn’t really be trusted, and Luke said “Game on.” It turned out to be bad for Tammy & Victor because they got caught in traffic and ended up in a lane that wasn’t moving, allowing Cara & Jamie and Margie & Luke to beat them to the snowplows. The bad luck didn’t hold out though, because while the other teams were going to the wrong snowplows, Victor grabbed a correct one and got moving first. The team member not driving was told to hold a tiny paddle and direct the driver. (I wouldn’t have gotten in front of this massive machine coming at me, that’s for sure! Talk about trust!) Luke was gesturing wildly to Margie to get her to stay on the course and turn (not like those things turned very quickly either).
In the meantime, Mel & Mike and Christie & Jodi decided to look for brides. Christie & Jodi had problems finding the bride building so the Blondies asked directions of some locals and ended up with a bunch of drunken men who wanted to give them more than directions. The girls complained that “they smelled of vodka and had bad teeth.” Christie said that “one of them touched my butt and asked my name.” (Again, look at the Russian women. Why should she be surprised?) They ended up paying a cab driver to follow him and went to the wrong church. Their bride had no gloves or hat and just a small poncho-like coat over her gown, and the poor girl looked frozen by the time they got back in the car to find the right church. Christie mentioned that they would make lousy wedding planners, and that their bride was “freezing her ass off.” All of the brides driven by the teams looked a bit scared of their drivers (everyone had problems finding the church).
Mark & Michael, the stuntbrothers, decided that looking for brides was “too complicated, I don’t need to go looking for another bride” and opted for the machinery, blasting through the task with no problems. Kisha & Jen were getting farther behind because although they found their bride quickly, Jen had major problems driving the four-speed and kept stalling the car in intersections.
As everyone got done and got their next clue, it was hysterical to hear them try and pronounce it. I will not even try to spell it myself, this is copied from the CBS website: “they needed to drive to Gosudarstvennaya Publichnaya Nauchnaya Tekhnicheskaya Biblioteka, the largest library in Siberia.” (I’ll keep good ol’ USA style – “Public Library”).
Once at the library clue box, they found a Roadblock. “One team member had to partner with two local runners, and first warm up for a mandatory ten-minute period. Then, they had to participate in a winter run the way only the bravest locals do—in their underwear. With their Siberian partners, they had to run approximately 1.4 miles to the Novosibirsk Ballet and Opera Theater where their teammate who traveled there separately would be waiting for them. The reunited team would then go into the theater to find the Pit Stop for this leg of the race.” (The producers better have some really airtight papers for these people to sign – first bungee jumping off a dam, and now they have to run over a mile in their underwear at about 27 degrees???!!!! No freaking way!!) Luke was in great shape and aside from his embarrassment of running in his underwear – he said “I didn’t look at anyone so they wouldn’t look at me” – he sailed through the run and met his Mom at the Opera Theater to end up in first place. Cara ran off ahead of Tammy, but the run and the cold got to her and she had to walk which allowed Tammy to get ahead and second place for her and Victor. Mike offered to do the task and wasn’t thrilled with running in his underwear, although Mel definitely wouldn’t have made it between his groin and – well, I wouldn’t want to see him in his underwear!!!! Mike was sorry he wore his boots - his feet must have been in pain at the end of the run. The Blondies were having trouble again finding their destination but decided that they would stay calm because “it’s counterproductive to yell at each other.” (There is a definite lack of teams yelling at each other this season. Tammy could have gotten going really well with Victor but was the nice little sister … she said she was “going to be mean” if she had to but I think she’s gonna stick to being a wuss.) Mark the stuntguy ran the course and bragged how his Russian runners had to keep up with him. He did run very impressively, then blew it when they entered the Theater and went wandering around looking for Phil. Phil snapped his fingers (no help) and then whistled at the guys who finally noticed where they were supposed to be. Jen & Kisha had no problem with the task but Jen said “I had to put on underwear to run.” Christie ran the course with a blur on her butt because of her thong underwear, and Jodi had to get some medical attention because she slammed her finger in the car door. (With all the lecherous drunks in Siberia, Christie is lucky she finished the race instead of being carted off to some hovel somewhere!) In the end, the physically fit sisters Jen & Kisha beat out the Blondies to the finish. Luckily for Christie & Jodi, Phil told them it was a non-elimination leg and they would have to deal with a speed bump during the next leg. Christie was happy that “I didn’t have to run naked for nothing.”
So here’s how they finished:
1- Margie & Luke
2- Tammy & Victor
3- Cara & Jaime
4- Mel & Mike
5- Mark & Michael
6- Kisha & Jen
7- Christie & Jodi – not eliminated!
So! Will the Blondes be able to make up the time or are they goners? Can everyone stay happy and cooperative with each other or will Victor give Tammy a reason to kick his ass?
Monday, March 9, 2009
Deaf Guys Don't Finish Last - If They Can Help It!
Well, well. A bit of nastiness last night and one of the stronger teams, Amanda & Kris, are gone. I was thinking that the "Blind U-Turn" wasn’t all that - with teams not being able to know who U-Turned them, there wouldn’t be any resentment. But! Seeing Amanda & Kris thinking that Kisha & Jen or Christie & Jodi were the perpetrators (they weren’t) made me realize that it could create a whole lot more obnoxiousness between the teams. The U-Turned team wouldn’t necessarily believe their suspects when the suspects denied involvement ... and you’ve got all kinds of revenge scenarios to imagine! Besides, who would think the loveable deaf guy could be that evil? Well, after last night, we see the other side of Luke!
The teams left from their Pit Stop in Romania/Transylvania cottage - was it just me or did that place look awfully small for 8 teams? Mike called his father ''part Woody Allen, part Billy Graham, and a splash of Judy Garland.'' (Sorry, that really scares me. Really.) They were to fly to Siberia, and then take a taxi to a famous dam for their next clue. (Another bungee jump, perhaps?) Getting their first clues, the teams showed that while they may be athletic and able to organize flights, they were no scholars - or even C-students. Kisha said all she knew about Siberia was that "they have Siberian tigers" and Mark & Michael couldn’t even pronounce Siberia. (Look, I get that some of the city names are impossible to figure out. But "Siberia?" Gimme a break!) Then, Christie & Jodi, who at times make you forget they are blonde, get to the dam and see a drawing of Lenin on a wall and don’t know who it is - Christie figured it was "the guy who built the dam," and Jodi said he was "a bad dictator dude." (*rolling eyes*)
Mark & Michael borrowed their cabbie’s phone to call the airport, and I guess he dialed it as he gave it to them, because at the same time Cara & Jamie were borrowing their cabbie’s phone, and it rang. Cara (Jamie? Haven’t figured out which is which yet, sorry) answered, realized it was one of the teams asking if this was Lufthansa Airways, and played along, trying not to bust out laughing. Mark thought it was odd that the "agent" on the phone sounded very American but kept trying to get a reservation, and Cara told him that there were only business seats available on the only flight to Moscow before she hung up on him.
All the teams left at pretty much the same time on their way to the connecting flight in Moscow on a variety of flights. Only one flight made it in time to connect with the Siberian plane, and Kisha & Jen, Christie & Jodi, and Mark & Michael were the three lucky teams that made that plane. The clue gave them a Detour - Stack or Construct. Stack had the teams stacking a full cord of firewood; Construct had them going to a shop, building some shutters, then going through the neighborhood looking for the house with a sign saying "needs repairs" so they could install the shutters. All three teams decided to go for Stack and were greeted by a group of locals, sitting and watching, playing music and singing, and - oh, yeah - drinking. Lots. (This seems to be a theme with this year’s show - we Americans may be shown to be dumb, but so far all the locals in the various countries are a bunch of drunks. They sit around, drink, and laugh - "Look at those funny Americans!")
As the stacks started to go up, the girl teams talked a good game - all about "girl power" (but thankfully no whining about their manicures being ruined). There was another theme for the night - there was a lot of smack from all the girl teams about how they could stack wood "without a man to help" and how ''Pretty powerful beavers made that dam. They must be females!'' Yeah, yeah, you go girls. Mark & Michael finally found the Stack site and it hit me that the stacks were about twice their height - would they be supplied with step stools to finish the task? It turns out that it was a moot point, because their stack collapsed into the sample stack behind it, and they were told they would have to fix them both to finish the task - so they decided to go construct. (In the meantime, the girls stacked away, watched by the rowdy locals who have now added eating pickles to their vodka and laughter. I think the producers discovered last season that it was fun to watch locals rolling in laughter at the Americans trying to manage the "local custom" tasks - remember our Frat Guys marching?) Kisha & Jen finished their stack first, followed shortly by Christie & Jodi - and as the big Russian dude was giving Jodi the clue, he told her "you cute girl - the best" and scooped her up in a bear hug. (He was probably just checking what a woman smelled like without vodka dripping from her pores.)
Mark & Michael decided to scoop up the parts for their shutters and construct them at the house where they were to install them rather than try and drag them through the streets fully constructed. Moot again, because they wandered around the village and didn’t see the signs at the houses, so they went back to the workshop where a local sat (so no one would steal the wood? To keep kids away? He looked like a child molester! That was one dour-looking, scary dude!) and started constructing their shutters. In the meantime, the other teams had arrived and all decided to Stack. All was going well (even with Cara & Jamie snarking about how Amanda was barking orders and Kris was doing all the work) when Mel & Mike, Amanda & Kris and Cara & Jamie watched their stacks go falling down. Cara & Jamie decided to give it another go while Mel & Mike and Amanda & Kris decided to switch and go Construct.
Kisha & Jen and the Blondies, meanwhile, get to the next clue box where they find the Blind U-Turn. They could force one team to go back and do the other Detour task, but unlike other seasons, would not have to reveal that it was they who U-Turned the team. Neither team decided to use it, feeling comfortably ahead enough. Margie & Luke got to the U-Turn and decided to help out their alliance of Cara & Jamie and U-Turn Amanda & Kris. Luke seemed to take some evil pride in doing so - he’s not doing much for his image, that man will never get a girlfriend after this! (Even though - it’s there. Why not use it? Amanda & Kris have shown themselves to be a strong team. The teams are there to win a MILLION DOLLARS, not make friends and impress people!) Tammy and Victor finished their stacking, chalking it up to "Asian engineering," and were off to the next task as well.
The clue told them to go to a Russian amusement park (for those who don’t drink enough vodka to be amused in that cold, gray city). They were to ride a single-car roller coaster and finish the course in 4 minutes or less, spotting letters along the way that were tacked to trees. Getting all the correct letters, they would then unscramble them to spell the name of a Russian playwright. Kisha had to make two runs after missing the "V" but she and Christie were pretty much neck-and-neck trying to figure out the name. Both were totally clueless (and while I wouldn’t have known it instantly, I would think after looking at the letters that "Chekhov" would have come pretty easily.) It seemed a little strange that after all that complaining about "not knowing nothing about no Russians" they both came up with the name on the first try.
Mel & Mike run into Mark & Michael near the workshop, where the stuntmen told Mel & Mike that they couldn’t find the house to install the shutters. Mel & Mike ask if they want to work together, first constructing the shutters, then looking for the houses together. (I did notice that the town was deserted - obviously no one wanted to live in a town of ugly, run-down houses unless they had brightly painted new shutters on them! There was a menacing dog that seemed to think that the short stuntmen looked like a good snack, though.) One of the team members says "it’s like we’re a caravan of idiots" which was proven when they couldn’t find the house - again - even though it was ten feet away and could have fallen over on them with a stiff wind.
Luke took five tries to get "Chekhov," getting more and more frustrated. Amanda likewise had major trouble, while Victor kept the Asians-are-really-smart stereotype alive and nailed it immediately. Jamie "took a stab" at the name and managed to get it right on the first try. Amanda & Kris finished Constructing and got to the U-Turn, blaming it on the Blondies or Kisha & Jen, but totally letting Margie & Luke off the hook, saying that "Margie & Luke probably feel so bad for us." My, my, the deaf guy gets a pass, after all, deafness takes out the evil gene, too!
All the teams get to Phil at the Mat except Mark & Michael and Amanda & Kris - and I was thinking that Amanda & Kris were too far back to make it - until Mark & Michael get to the Pit Stop location and an $8000 ruble cab fare with only $5000 on them. Trying to figure out what to do, they offer the cabbie their watches - until the cabbie shows them his Rolex. They tried offering their jackets (and the cabbie looked too old to have kids at the age to fit in the jackets) but no go. I’m surprised the cabbie doesn’t expect their camera crews to kick in (after all, they’re in the cab too - don’t they charge extra for extra riders? With cameras and microphones?) but he finally lets them go and they beat Amanda & Kris to the Mat. Amanda & Kris are disappointed but say that they are "closer than ever" and express undying love for each other. They did work well together and seem very compatible, so good luck kids!
Here’s the order of the finish:
1 - Christie & Jodi
2 - Kisha & Jen
3 - Tammy & Victor
4 - Margie & Luke
5 - Cara & Jamie
6 - Mel & Mike
7 - Mark & Michael
8 - Amanda & Kris - eliminated
So would you have used the U-Turn or are Margie & Luke evil and nasty? Bummed that Amanda & Kris are gone? With yet another different team coming in first, is there a sure winner? Let's talk!
The teams left from their Pit Stop in Romania/Transylvania cottage - was it just me or did that place look awfully small for 8 teams? Mike called his father ''part Woody Allen, part Billy Graham, and a splash of Judy Garland.'' (Sorry, that really scares me. Really.) They were to fly to Siberia, and then take a taxi to a famous dam for their next clue. (Another bungee jump, perhaps?) Getting their first clues, the teams showed that while they may be athletic and able to organize flights, they were no scholars - or even C-students. Kisha said all she knew about Siberia was that "they have Siberian tigers" and Mark & Michael couldn’t even pronounce Siberia. (Look, I get that some of the city names are impossible to figure out. But "Siberia?" Gimme a break!) Then, Christie & Jodi, who at times make you forget they are blonde, get to the dam and see a drawing of Lenin on a wall and don’t know who it is - Christie figured it was "the guy who built the dam," and Jodi said he was "a bad dictator dude." (*rolling eyes*)
Mark & Michael borrowed their cabbie’s phone to call the airport, and I guess he dialed it as he gave it to them, because at the same time Cara & Jamie were borrowing their cabbie’s phone, and it rang. Cara (Jamie? Haven’t figured out which is which yet, sorry) answered, realized it was one of the teams asking if this was Lufthansa Airways, and played along, trying not to bust out laughing. Mark thought it was odd that the "agent" on the phone sounded very American but kept trying to get a reservation, and Cara told him that there were only business seats available on the only flight to Moscow before she hung up on him.
All the teams left at pretty much the same time on their way to the connecting flight in Moscow on a variety of flights. Only one flight made it in time to connect with the Siberian plane, and Kisha & Jen, Christie & Jodi, and Mark & Michael were the three lucky teams that made that plane. The clue gave them a Detour - Stack or Construct. Stack had the teams stacking a full cord of firewood; Construct had them going to a shop, building some shutters, then going through the neighborhood looking for the house with a sign saying "needs repairs" so they could install the shutters. All three teams decided to go for Stack and were greeted by a group of locals, sitting and watching, playing music and singing, and - oh, yeah - drinking. Lots. (This seems to be a theme with this year’s show - we Americans may be shown to be dumb, but so far all the locals in the various countries are a bunch of drunks. They sit around, drink, and laugh - "Look at those funny Americans!")
As the stacks started to go up, the girl teams talked a good game - all about "girl power" (but thankfully no whining about their manicures being ruined). There was another theme for the night - there was a lot of smack from all the girl teams about how they could stack wood "without a man to help" and how ''Pretty powerful beavers made that dam. They must be females!'' Yeah, yeah, you go girls. Mark & Michael finally found the Stack site and it hit me that the stacks were about twice their height - would they be supplied with step stools to finish the task? It turns out that it was a moot point, because their stack collapsed into the sample stack behind it, and they were told they would have to fix them both to finish the task - so they decided to go construct. (In the meantime, the girls stacked away, watched by the rowdy locals who have now added eating pickles to their vodka and laughter. I think the producers discovered last season that it was fun to watch locals rolling in laughter at the Americans trying to manage the "local custom" tasks - remember our Frat Guys marching?) Kisha & Jen finished their stack first, followed shortly by Christie & Jodi - and as the big Russian dude was giving Jodi the clue, he told her "you cute girl - the best" and scooped her up in a bear hug. (He was probably just checking what a woman smelled like without vodka dripping from her pores.)
Mark & Michael decided to scoop up the parts for their shutters and construct them at the house where they were to install them rather than try and drag them through the streets fully constructed. Moot again, because they wandered around the village and didn’t see the signs at the houses, so they went back to the workshop where a local sat (so no one would steal the wood? To keep kids away? He looked like a child molester! That was one dour-looking, scary dude!) and started constructing their shutters. In the meantime, the other teams had arrived and all decided to Stack. All was going well (even with Cara & Jamie snarking about how Amanda was barking orders and Kris was doing all the work) when Mel & Mike, Amanda & Kris and Cara & Jamie watched their stacks go falling down. Cara & Jamie decided to give it another go while Mel & Mike and Amanda & Kris decided to switch and go Construct.
Kisha & Jen and the Blondies, meanwhile, get to the next clue box where they find the Blind U-Turn. They could force one team to go back and do the other Detour task, but unlike other seasons, would not have to reveal that it was they who U-Turned the team. Neither team decided to use it, feeling comfortably ahead enough. Margie & Luke got to the U-Turn and decided to help out their alliance of Cara & Jamie and U-Turn Amanda & Kris. Luke seemed to take some evil pride in doing so - he’s not doing much for his image, that man will never get a girlfriend after this! (Even though - it’s there. Why not use it? Amanda & Kris have shown themselves to be a strong team. The teams are there to win a MILLION DOLLARS, not make friends and impress people!) Tammy and Victor finished their stacking, chalking it up to "Asian engineering," and were off to the next task as well.
The clue told them to go to a Russian amusement park (for those who don’t drink enough vodka to be amused in that cold, gray city). They were to ride a single-car roller coaster and finish the course in 4 minutes or less, spotting letters along the way that were tacked to trees. Getting all the correct letters, they would then unscramble them to spell the name of a Russian playwright. Kisha had to make two runs after missing the "V" but she and Christie were pretty much neck-and-neck trying to figure out the name. Both were totally clueless (and while I wouldn’t have known it instantly, I would think after looking at the letters that "Chekhov" would have come pretty easily.) It seemed a little strange that after all that complaining about "not knowing nothing about no Russians" they both came up with the name on the first try.
Mel & Mike run into Mark & Michael near the workshop, where the stuntmen told Mel & Mike that they couldn’t find the house to install the shutters. Mel & Mike ask if they want to work together, first constructing the shutters, then looking for the houses together. (I did notice that the town was deserted - obviously no one wanted to live in a town of ugly, run-down houses unless they had brightly painted new shutters on them! There was a menacing dog that seemed to think that the short stuntmen looked like a good snack, though.) One of the team members says "it’s like we’re a caravan of idiots" which was proven when they couldn’t find the house - again - even though it was ten feet away and could have fallen over on them with a stiff wind.
Luke took five tries to get "Chekhov," getting more and more frustrated. Amanda likewise had major trouble, while Victor kept the Asians-are-really-smart stereotype alive and nailed it immediately. Jamie "took a stab" at the name and managed to get it right on the first try. Amanda & Kris finished Constructing and got to the U-Turn, blaming it on the Blondies or Kisha & Jen, but totally letting Margie & Luke off the hook, saying that "Margie & Luke probably feel so bad for us." My, my, the deaf guy gets a pass, after all, deafness takes out the evil gene, too!
All the teams get to Phil at the Mat except Mark & Michael and Amanda & Kris - and I was thinking that Amanda & Kris were too far back to make it - until Mark & Michael get to the Pit Stop location and an $8000 ruble cab fare with only $5000 on them. Trying to figure out what to do, they offer the cabbie their watches - until the cabbie shows them his Rolex. They tried offering their jackets (and the cabbie looked too old to have kids at the age to fit in the jackets) but no go. I’m surprised the cabbie doesn’t expect their camera crews to kick in (after all, they’re in the cab too - don’t they charge extra for extra riders? With cameras and microphones?) but he finally lets them go and they beat Amanda & Kris to the Mat. Amanda & Kris are disappointed but say that they are "closer than ever" and express undying love for each other. They did work well together and seem very compatible, so good luck kids!
Here’s the order of the finish:
1 - Christie & Jodi
2 - Kisha & Jen
3 - Tammy & Victor
4 - Margie & Luke
5 - Cara & Jamie
6 - Mel & Mike
7 - Mark & Michael
8 - Amanda & Kris - eliminated
So would you have used the U-Turn or are Margie & Luke evil and nasty? Bummed that Amanda & Kris are gone? With yet another different team coming in first, is there a sure winner? Let's talk!
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